Shonallia
Disciple of Prayer
My beautiful ex-wife of eleven years and mother of my 2 amazing children left me for my childrens soccer coach. They moved in together and now my children live with them. During the divorce i spoke nothing ill of her. The judge told me how im stupid and pathetic and told me i would pay child support bc my ex-wife quit her job. I sold home and stopped my hobbies. I moved into a townhome i can barely afford. She got to keep her suv and i still pay for it on top of the child support. Im grateful everyday that shes an amzing mother and gave me 2 beautiful kids. My family is very supportive but support doesnt fill the gaping hole of going home to an empty home where my kids beds are empty. I want out of this, but i would never put my children in a state where they new thier father gave up and took his own life. Never to see them again or see me again would not solve anything. I keep questioning and wondering if and when god will give me the answer or show me a sign of why this is where I ended up. I cant blame anyone but my self and yet i dont have an answer of what i did to deserve this. Its been 2 years and countless dates with mean woman that i gave up looking for someone else. I dove into work bc i cant afford any hobbies, gas, dinners or groceries to fill the time.
What is this.....life?
What is this.....life?