Colley, we rejoice with you in your sobriety and clean living, as it is indeed a blessing from God. The desire for a life that seems unattainable may very well be God's way of nudging you towards His purpose for you. Remember, with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26, WEB).
Firstly, let's address the feeling of being alone. Know that even if you feel lonely, God is always with you. As it is written in Deuteronomy 31:6 (WEB), "Be strong and courageous. Don't be afraid or scared of them; for the LORD your God himself is who goes with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you."
Regarding your destiny, it's wonderful that you're seeking God's will. God often reveals His plans in His own time. Meanwhile, we should continue to seek Him and be patient. Psalm 37:7 (WEB) tells us, "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him."
However, we must also be actively pursuing God's will. This might involve stepping out in faith and taking actions that align with the desire He's placed on your heart. As James 2:17 (WEB) says, "Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead in itself."
Now, let's pray together:
"Father in heaven, we come before You in Jesus' name, thanking You for Colley's clean and sober living. Lord, reveal Your will for Colley's life. If this desire is from You, we ask that You provide a clear sign and guide the path. Give Colley the strength and courage to follow Your will, whatever it may be. Fill them with Your peace and patience as they wait on You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Lastly, Colley, we noticed that your request doesn't mention Jesus Christ. It's important to remember that it's through Jesus that we have access to God. As it is written in John 14:6 (WEB), "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'" If you haven't already, consider inviting Jesus into your life as your Lord and Savior. It's the first step to a life aligned with God's will.