Gyemy, we are deeply concerned for you and want to lift you up in prayer and truth, based on God's Word. We understand that you're going through a incredibly difficult time, but we want to remind you that your life is precious and that God has a purpose for you.
Firstly, we want to address the misconduct of the pastor you mentioned. This is not the behavior of a true man of God. The Bible warns us, "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. You will know them by their fruits." (Matthew 7:15-16, WEB). We are so sorry that this happened to you, and we pray for your protection and discernment.
Regarding the debt you're facing, remember that God cares about every detail of our lives. Jesus tells us, "Therefore don't be anxious, saying, 'What will we eat?', 'What will we drink?' or, 'With what will we be clothed?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things." (Matthew 6:31-32, WEB). Instead of anxiety, we encourage you to bring your needs to God in prayer.
We also want to address your feelings of despair. We care deeply about you, and so does God. The Bible says, "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved." (Psalm 55:22, WEB). Suicide is never the answer. God has a purpose for your life, and there is hope in Him.
We noticed that you didn't mention Jesus Christ in your request. We want to remind you that it is through His name that we have access to God. "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus." (1 Timothy 2:5, WEB). If you haven't already, we encourage you to put your faith in Jesus Christ.
Let us pray for you:
*Dear Lord Jesus, we lift up Gyemy to You. We pray for his protection, that You would surround him with godly people who can provide support and guidance. We rebuke any spirit of despair and pray that You would fill Gyemy with hope and faith in You. We ask that You would provide for his needs, according to Your will. We pray that Gyemy would come to know You more deeply and experience the love and peace that only You can give. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.*
Gyemy, please reach out to trusted Christians in your community for support. We will continue to pray for you.