Let's lift up Smilee for relief from leg pain and a restful night's sleep. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isa 40:29). Trusting Jesus for complete healing and a swift return to work. In Jesus' name! 
Let's lift up 
Besman
Disciple of Prayer
Thank you all for your prayers about my marriage and mother in law issue as well as my job. I know the lord can see my heart it’s clear no hatred just trying to stay positive and happy. Just wanted to update you all, on my situation. Everything gotten worse. My mother in law comes over to our home, doesn’t bother saying hello or text. I don’t exist in my own home when she comes over. My husband hides things from me because of his mom. Mind you this is 22 years of marriage my husband and I. I also took a pay cut to my new job because if my husband but I think I know why, he makes more than me now and controls me that why. Everytime I cook it’s always a complaint. I’m not a great cook but it’s all the effort and preparation I put in. Most of the time he don’t eat anything I cook, or he would complain about everything. Mother’s Day was just this past Sunday. She didn’t bother saying happy Mother’s Day to me so I will be honest I didn’t say happy Mother’s Day either. Why, I was just thinking about my mom, she passed away a few years ago. It’s hard. So I told my husband spent the time with your mom I’m good. He stated he will buy food for me for Mother’s Day. I opted to no, that I will get ramen noodles because that is all I can afford. The last thing I want to hear is my husband throwing it back in my face that he bought everything for me because I’m broke. So I decided I will only buy the things I can afford. My husband made it clear he will never give me any money anymore. Which he hasn’t, but it’s okay my heart is happy since I don’t hear any verbal abuse or anything. I decided to take my recycling and I bear my husband making fun oh u must be broke which he can see in our joint account yes I have zero balance in my account. All I have right now is my gas to last me hopefully next week when I get paid. My younger son didn’t pay me for his payment this month because he is on my medical insurance and he pay me his portion but he fell on hard times he couldn’t afford anything he had to look for a new job. Of course my husband tells his mom my son didn’t pay me his payment and I allowed it to happened but for me how can I nag for my kid to pay me when he is struggling and my own husband told me he is not allowed in the house unless his mom is in the house. It really breaks my heart because I want to help my children but I am threaten not to. I pray that he take my advice and take th ASVAB test and get in the military so I don’t have to worry about him because I couldn’t help him at all. I been going to work hungry all day. And when people ask to go out to lunch I just lie and say oh I brought lunch or I’m not hungry and just drink coffee and water all day until I get home and make some ramen noodles for myself. I decided not to cook anything anymore I don’t have money to buy anything to cook. I put on more and more weight but it’s okay. I am trying. I pray that our new XO at work decide to allow us to go back to our old office. I don’t see anything productive with this new move we had to our new office. We have no privacy we are treated like slaves and like little kids, with no regard of compassion because his the Colonel and it’s his way or the highway. Mind you his only going to be with our command for 18th that but we just moved all our huge office into a small cubicle. No privacy, all our fire department gear don’t fit we have nowhere to put it at. We are not allowed to work out in the fire stations in our area because we are the fire Marshall we are suppose to have our own private office and our own vehicles but nope. We are just number our main fire chief is too much into politics and a yes man, ignores my fire chief request that him and his department shouldn’t move due to our work demand. Now we spend all day driving and no time to do any reports, we are not as productive as how we use to be at our old office. We are just wasting time and gas now with the new move. Everyone is miserable including myself. But I always keep a smile on my face all day everyday at work. Because one I am miserable with the move, two I am miserable at home. My mother in law is now asking my husband to buy everything she wants. But it’s okay my husband said he makes more money than me and he feels like I’m using him for money. Which makes me think on wow “God can strike me down right now because I know he knows my heart and I never used my husband for his money. I always work. But since my husband makes more than me. Which I was the one doing his resume and was able to get him his high paying job that he has right now but he forgotten all of that. To me it’s okay, I paid for a gym membership that I cannot go to because I’m so broke I am trying to save my guess to make it to work next week. But it’s okay I will be taking my recycling this weekend so I can have some gas and some money. I am looking into applying for the ATF and Base Safety Job when an announcement come out. So I am not worried because I know I’m my heart that God got my back. I pray he blessed me with the wisdom and knowledge to be more organized and get all my work done in a timely manner. I know my mother in law is super happy that my husband do what ever she tells him to do. Every thing I have done for this lady she don’t remember anything good I done for her but she goes to church 
that’s the best part. When she meet people she is so sweet I will never know, but her true colors come out. She wants materialize things. Expensive stuff, when I buy things from the 99cent store my husband would yell at me saying we rate expensive things he don’t want anything generic. But me I rather buy cheap I’m trying to save. I made a lone out of my retirement plan to renovate the house according to my husband he was the only one who paid for the renovations. That is what my husband and mom thinks. They feed off of each other. I stop telling my husband anything me and the kids talk about because he tell his mom and his mom would tell him that the boys ask her for money. She is the grandmother the kids are struggling it was suppose to be private just her and the kids but when my husband get angry he throws all of that in my face saying my kids asking his mom for money and he wasted his time raising them. It’s very hurtful but I just pray to God to keep me sane. Lord I pray that you shine the light so my husband can see his moms true colors. Because my mother in law dictates my marriage. I don’t say anything anymore to her because she will tell my husband what to do with our marriage. Thinking back now I understand why my father in law warn me when my husband and I first got married be careful telling your mother in law stuff and watch out she is evil. Now I see it but I just never thought she was like this. I guess I was blind to it because I was raised to respect my elders. So I decided to just leave my husband be. My husband and mother in law would go and spent a night at a hotel but my husband won’t tell me anything he said it’s non of my business what him and his mom does. I cannot ask any questions where they are going and when they are coming back. There are times I want to curse her out but I just bite my tongue. Because I know that will be a huge fight that he will yell so the entire neighborhood can hear. And he would tell me if I want to fight him and he would put his hands on me. So I just leave it be, I just pray that my husband and I can get back to how we use to be and that my mother in law put her nose out of my business. It’s hard she don’t work, we support her. I know the Bible days” Ephesians 5:31; Genesis 2:24 - “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold… ESV.org. 31 o“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and pthe two shall become one flesh.” But on my end, my husband is one flesh with his mom not with me. His mothers word, wants and needs are priority. If it wasn’t for his mother our marriage would never be this way. I cannot see my kids when they ask if I am home I would lie to them I’m not or I’m busy. I can meet them somewhere but not at the house. I know my kids hate me for it but they don’t know I just pretend I’m the bad guy not my husband or his mom. Lord I pray to b Please teach me how to manage my time wisely at work and that my work condition will be better as well as budgeting. Because I know I get paid next week, more than half of my check goes on the bills and I’m left with barely anything so I will be broke and wait for the next check. I know I will be eating ramen noodles everyday for awhile. Plus I have to pay back the 500 dollars that my husband gave me. I don’t know why and he complained about it. So after paying the bills and paying that back, I will be left with probably 50.00 if I’m lucky. Until I get paid again. Because my pay check pay for my medical my husband and my son. Get paid every two weeks, I clear 1,148 and some change. I pay 693.00 every two weeks to my husband now for he bills which is funny we never split any bills when I use to make over2 thousand dollars every two weeks. All of a sudden my husband thinks his paying for everything so my monthly bill is 1386. Next week Tuesday I get paid I will pay him 693 that covers for the rest of ky bill for the month. That leaves me with 455 dollars, I have to pay him 250 for the 500 dollars that we transfer to my account and later complaints and make fun of me that he feel bad so he had to transfer the money so I told him if I knew I would’ve never spent it, because when I give him money I never want anything in return after because in my heart we are husband and wife his money is my money my money is his money but it’s different now. So now when my husband offer to do anything or buy anything for me I say no thank you because I know he will throw it in my face later. So I decided hey I rather be broke and be happy in my heart. Than having money and be miserable in my heart. I’m so glad tomorrow is my Friday because I don’t have to starve myself at work for 11 hours before I get home to have some ramen noodles. But I’m happy though, I just never thought I will be treated this way later on in my marriage I mean my husband is abusive verbally and physical at times but I just got use to it. But I know it’s because of my mother in law. I pray that one day I will get a GS 11 or GS 12 position. Also I’m writing up a letter for my husbands stuff he needed please blessed me with the right words to get his stuff taken care off. My husband is a really good man, I just know it’s his mom that’s making him act the way he is towards me because my mother in law has been trying for years to control me but I won’t allow it but she uses her son my husband to do it for her because she knows my husband is a mamas boy. Nothing wrong with that but it gets old thank you all for listening and taking the time to pray for me. I am okay as long as I have God in my heart that is all I need and I have faith we will move back to our old office. And that I will get a GS 11/12 position and loose weight too
. As for my husband and mother in law I don’t know I will just remain quiet and allow them to do them. I will just pray and stay happy and positive. God bless and have a great day
that’s the best part. When she meet people she is so sweet I will never know, but her true colors come out. She wants materialize things. Expensive stuff, when I buy things from the 99cent store my husband would yell at me saying we rate expensive things he don’t want anything generic. But me I rather buy cheap I’m trying to save. I made a lone out of my retirement plan to renovate the house according to my husband he was the only one who paid for the renovations. That is what my husband and mom thinks. They feed off of each other. I stop telling my husband anything me and the kids talk about because he tell his mom and his mom would tell him that the boys ask her for money. She is the grandmother the kids are struggling it was suppose to be private just her and the kids but when my husband get angry he throws all of that in my face saying my kids asking his mom for money and he wasted his time raising them. It’s very hurtful but I just pray to God to keep me sane. Lord I pray that you shine the light so my husband can see his moms true colors. Because my mother in law dictates my marriage. I don’t say anything anymore to her because she will tell my husband what to do with our marriage. Thinking back now I understand why my father in law warn me when my husband and I first got married be careful telling your mother in law stuff and watch out she is evil. Now I see it but I just never thought she was like this. I guess I was blind to it because I was raised to respect my elders. So I decided to just leave my husband be. My husband and mother in law would go and spent a night at a hotel but my husband won’t tell me anything he said it’s non of my business what him and his mom does. I cannot ask any questions where they are going and when they are coming back. There are times I want to curse her out but I just bite my tongue. Because I know that will be a huge fight that he will yell so the entire neighborhood can hear. And he would tell me if I want to fight him and he would put his hands on me. So I just leave it be, I just pray that my husband and I can get back to how we use to be and that my mother in law put her nose out of my business. It’s hard she don’t work, we support her. I know the Bible days” Ephesians 5:31; Genesis 2:24 - “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold… ESV.org. 31 o“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and pthe two shall become one flesh.” But on my end, my husband is one flesh with his mom not with me. His mothers word, wants and needs are priority. If it wasn’t for his mother our marriage would never be this way. I cannot see my kids when they ask if I am home I would lie to them I’m not or I’m busy. I can meet them somewhere but not at the house. I know my kids hate me for it but they don’t know I just pretend I’m the bad guy not my husband or his mom. Lord I pray to b Please teach me how to manage my time wisely at work and that my work condition will be better as well as budgeting. Because I know I get paid next week, more than half of my check goes on the bills and I’m left with barely anything so I will be broke and wait for the next check. I know I will be eating ramen noodles everyday for awhile. Plus I have to pay back the 500 dollars that my husband gave me. I don’t know why and he complained about it. So after paying the bills and paying that back, I will be left with probably 50.00 if I’m lucky. Until I get paid again. Because my pay check pay for my medical my husband and my son. Get paid every two weeks, I clear 1,148 and some change. I pay 693.00 every two weeks to my husband now for he bills which is funny we never split any bills when I use to make over2 thousand dollars every two weeks. All of a sudden my husband thinks his paying for everything so my monthly bill is 1386. Next week Tuesday I get paid I will pay him 693 that covers for the rest of ky bill for the month. That leaves me with 455 dollars, I have to pay him 250 for the 500 dollars that we transfer to my account and later complaints and make fun of me that he feel bad so he had to transfer the money so I told him if I knew I would’ve never spent it, because when I give him money I never want anything in return after because in my heart we are husband and wife his money is my money my money is his money but it’s different now. So now when my husband offer to do anything or buy anything for me I say no thank you because I know he will throw it in my face later. So I decided hey I rather be broke and be happy in my heart. Than having money and be miserable in my heart. I’m so glad tomorrow is my Friday because I don’t have to starve myself at work for 11 hours before I get home to have some ramen noodles. But I’m happy though, I just never thought I will be treated this way later on in my marriage I mean my husband is abusive verbally and physical at times but I just got use to it. But I know it’s because of my mother in law. I pray that one day I will get a GS 11 or GS 12 position. Also I’m writing up a letter for my husbands stuff he needed please blessed me with the right words to get his stuff taken care off. My husband is a really good man, I just know it’s his mom that’s making him act the way he is towards me because my mother in law has been trying for years to control me but I won’t allow it but she uses her son my husband to do it for her because she knows my husband is a mamas boy. Nothing wrong with that but it gets old thank you all for listening and taking the time to pray for me. I am okay as long as I have God in my heart that is all I need and I have faith we will move back to our old office. And that I will get a GS 11/12 position and loose weight too. As for my husband and mother in law I don’t know I will just remain quiet and allow them to do them. I will just pray and stay happy and positive. God bless and have a great day
