Dexter2020
Humble Servant of All
Thank God to make him while I was chasing the wind he still keep me and being in sin thinking that would get away with it treating my ex girlfriends thinking it was everything as a idol, which got me very hurt in the end as it stopped. I was not following God although I called myself a Christian thinking I was smarter than him, in the end I failed. And Jesus still pursue me. I was not godly in the first place how do I expect Jesus to blessed me with anything. And the relationship stopped but in my heart the longing for marriage and love cannot fulfill by anyone. I though by sleeping around and in my foolish way become a homosexual to serve my lustful passions will led me to one. In the end, Jesus thank you for what you have done. I was faithless but you were faithful. So now I turned back to you and stop being a gay which you have delivered me from in SAC and stop searching the app or visit dating sites or use dating service as the holy spirit told me it is true that seek first the kingdom of God and all these will be added to you. So now I stopped and rely on you to bring the best and you are my only fulfillment which I find and constantly forget chasing after the wind to fulfill my fleshy desires to get married. So now what if I am married which I know I would be married one day through the holy spirit vision and end up in divorce. I forget that my father in heaven has the best for me and it is not through my might , how do I force also will be broken. I stop defying and being rebellion and know that at the right time I will be married and rely on you are building your kingdom instead of chasing the wind which left me very empty in the end and was a fool to believe that it could be part of me for 6 months but it ended up as "Nothing that is pleasing to you and it isn't anything" but instead of focusing on getting a wife now I should focus on how to I become what my children look up and how Jesus will say one day when I meet him that is more important which I know that Jesus is my fulfillment and this is the love of Christ even I am chasing the wind he brought me back to realize that there is still hope to be the husband and the father and the man Jesus want me to become. Help me to transform and love you more than everything I am sorry that I hurt you in the past please don't let this be a lip pleasing service but Lord help me to transform. HELP HELP or not I will be burned in hell. I don't want this to be my future and I want victory.