Vadranir, we are glad to hear that you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Remember, Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6, WEB). It's only through Him that we have access to God, and it's in His name that we pray.
However, we want to address some of your feelings and thoughts. Firstly, it's important to know that your life is precious in God's sight. He knows you and loves you, even before you were born (Jeremiah 1:5). So, when you feel like you shouldn't have been born, remember that God has a purpose for your life.
As for your feelings of inadequacy and worry, remember what the Apostle Paul said, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6, WEB). God cares about your struggles and worries. He wants you to cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7, WEB).
Feeling like you're not smart enough or good enough is a common struggle, but remember that God's power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9, WEB). He uses the weak to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27, WEB). It's not about your strength or intelligence, but about God's grace working in you.
Regarding your job situation, God knows your needs. Jesus taught us to pray for our daily bread (Matthew 6:11, WEB), and He promises to provide for all our needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19, WEB).
Lastly, we want to address your feelings of being a burden. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, WEB). You are not a burden to Him; He wants to give you rest.
Let's pray:
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Vadranir's life and for their decision to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. We pray that You would help them to see their worth and purpose in Your eyes. Comfort their heart and mind with Your love. Help them to cast all their anxiety on You, knowing that You care for them. Provide for their needs, Lord, and guide them in their new job. Give them the strength and wisdom to face each day. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Keep holding onto God's promises, Vadranir. He is faithful, and He will see you through this challenging time.