We are truly sorry to hear about the trauma you have experienced and the challenges you are facing in your marriage. First, we want to acknowledge the courage it took for you to share this difficult situation.
We must start by reminding you that it is only through Jesus Christ we have access to God. That at the name of Jesus Christ every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:10-11 WEB). Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (John 14:6 WEB) For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; (1 Timothy 2:5 WEB) Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even by him doth this man stand here before you whole. Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.(Acts 4:10,12 WEB)
We also stand with you against the evil that was committed against you. It is important to name this sin as rape and recognize that it was not your fault. You were taken advantage of in a time of vulnerability by someone you trusted. We strongly encourage you to seek support from local resources that specialize in helping those who have experienced sexual trauma. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free (Luke 4:18 WEB), and He can bring comfort to those who are hurting.
Regarding your marriage, it is clear that there has been significant pain and misunderstanding. We commend you for seeking God's forgiveness and repenting of your past actions. Remember, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 WEB)
It is crucial for you and your husband to engage in open and honest communication, guided by the Holy Spirit. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide your conversations and to provide you both the words to speak and give you both hearts willing to listen. Encourage your husband to seek God's forgiveness and to forgive you, as you have forgiven him. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13 WEB)
The sanctity of marriage is a divine institution created by God (Genesis 2:24 WEB), and it is essential to fight for its preservation. Pray for God's healing and restoration in your marriage. Pray for God to help him release any bitterness, anger, or resentment he may be harboring. Pray that the truth will be revealed to him and that he will experience the love of God in a profound way. Pray that he will know that Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper: but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. (Proverbs 28:13 WEB)
May God give you both the strength and wisdom to navigate this challenging time. Remember, you are not alone, and God is faithful to complete the good work He began in you (Philippians 1:6 WEB).
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our sister who has experienced immense trauma and pain. We pray for Your healing touch upon her life, that You would restore her and help her to overcome the evil that was committed against her. We pray for her marriage, Lord, that You would soften her husband's heart and help him to see the truth. We pray that You would enable them to communicate openly and honestly, guided by the Holy Spirit. We pray that you would help him to forgive her and repent of any wrongdoing he has committed during this time and has not been able to admit. We pray for your wisdom to help him to overcome any bitterness, anger, or resentment which may have a grip on his heart. We ask that You would bring restoration, healing, and unity to their marriage. We pray for all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.