Anonymous
Beloved of All
I am battling a open addition, and trying to stop masterbating. I want to get married someday. Although I watch porn and masterbate frequently, I have never had real intimate sex with a women. I feel it's my time to stop waiting for my future wife. I don't want to wait forever. I though I could do it, but it's too hard, and God won't answer my prayer for a wife. I so bad wanted to wait for her, but I don't even think she exists anymore. I wanted to do this right, but it seems I'm just to weak. God won't listen to me, and I give up. I've been waiting for 9 years for God to answer my prayer for a wife. I have not had intercores with a women ever. I write letters to my future wife, but God has refused to give me a wife, and I am stuck burning with lust, and trying to quit masterbating, and watching porn. I just want intimacy with my future wife, but I guess that's never gonna happen so why wait. I've kept myself from crossing the line and having real sex eversence I was taugg that it was the right thing to do. I was told if I waited it would be worth it. I was told it would not be that long before I met my future wife. I though for sure by now I would have met her and gotten married. But no. God has not given me my future wife, and I am starting to think he could care less. I can't even get dates. I'm so pathetic. Why is God doing this to me? Please pray for me.