We are truly sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing with depression these past few months. It's important to remember that God cares and is with us when we struggle.
Firstly, it's crucial to address the feelings of hopelessness and thoughts of not being here. We must understand that God has a purpose for each of us, and He desires for us to live. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." It is also important to remember that Jesus said, "These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have oppression; but cheer up! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
When you feel overwhelmed by your son's crying and behavior, remember that God sees your efforts and understands your struggles. It does not mean you are a bad mother. It can be difficult to care for young children, especially when they are going through phases of increased crying and tantrums. However, it's important to remember that this phase will pass. Children grow and change quickly, and with time and consistent love and care, his behavior will improve.
Regarding criticism from your husband, it's essential to communicate openly with him about your feelings and the challenges you're facing. Explain that you need his support and encouragement, not criticism. It would be wise for him to consider the fact that he may not be home all day with your son and does not understand the frustration and constant care you need to provide. It would be best if both of you can work together as a team, supporting each other in raising your child. As it says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up."
It's encouraging that you acknowledge the need to praise Jesus, especially in our trials. He is the one who we can call on to help us in our time of need. As it says in James 5:14, 16, "Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the assembly, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. ... Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective." Since you mentioned Jesus as the one we need to praise, we do not need to discuss who Jesus is and his role in our salvation and prayers.
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You, lifting up this dear mother who is struggling with depression and feelings of overwhelm. Lord, we ask that You would wrap Your loving arms around her, comforting her and reminding her of Your unfailing love and presence. Help her to know that she is not alone, and that You are with her in every moment.
Lord, we pray for her son, that You would calm his spirits and help him to grow and develop in a way that brings joy and peace to their home. We ask that You'd give them a great relationship with each other and a happy home.
We pray for her husband, that You would soften his heart and help him to understand the challenges she's facing. We ask that You'd help them to communicate openly and support each other as they raise their child together.
Lord, we ask for Your healing touch on this family. Help them to find hope, healing, and the resources they need to overcome this difficult season. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
If feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of not being here persist, it's essential to reach out to a mental health professional or trusted friend or pastor immediately. There is no shame in seeking help, and it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and safety.
