stronger relationship with christ for myself and my ex boyfriend, maybe hopefully working things out with him if it’s gods plan

[marlee g]

I’m not too sure how to start this, I’m not the greatest author so hopefully I can get all I need to out in a way that makes sense. My pawpaw was the preacher of a small baptist church where I grew up. Everyone in my family either worked or volunteered for a church. When I was young growing up around people who followed christ influenced me to do the same. As i got older, I started going to a bigger church with a bigger youth group thinking I would make good connections with good people. Instead they bullied me and spread rumors and made sure it was hard for me to make friends. I started feeling like me being Christian was never my choice and that I was forced into it, so the second my friend got her license we started skipping church to hang out at the lake. Partially because of my feelings about how I was “forced” into a religion that seemed like it was a bunch of people who worshipped god at church and bullied or treated me bad inside and outside of the church walls. Eventually it got to the point where I could barely stand listening to sermons or prayers or Christian music. I wanted to be able to have faith but I couldn’t make myself do something that never seemed like it was beneficial. Here it is 5 years later, now that I am making the choice on my own I feel as though it’s sometimes only for personal gain and answered prayers. There was a boy that I had loved since 7th grade, we talked on and off romantically through highschool but he always ended up finding someone better or prettier. At the beginning of 2022 he came back from west texas where he was working to see his mom, somehow we ended up hanging out and getting close like we used to be very quickly. We started dating shortly after and at the time I was suffering from extreme depression and anxiety that I tried curing with substance abuse. I hated living with my parents in a shed, and I knew the only way for me to get better was to get out. He asked me to move in with him a few months into the relationship so I packed my things and left. It hurt my dad a lot, me and my dad never had a good relationship. I remember the night I left he told me god would never bless a relationship that wasn’t following the rules in the bible. Hate to admit it but he was not wrong. It started out with s lot of arguments a couple weeks after I moved 6 hours away from home to be with a man who I thought was perfect. Eventually it turned into name calling and other things that caused me a lot of trauma. I stayed a year and a half through it all because I loved him and I knew he could do better and be better. He never did, he cheated and lied, eventually pushed me down the stairs and into the floor when I caught him cheating. He pulled a knife on me and I guess we were yelling so loud the neighbors called the cops. He never hit me, and honestly I don’t think he even was trying to hurt me. He was drinking a lot and gets angry and doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s drunk. They took him to jail that night and the next day I went and got a bible thinking it would bring me some peace, for a time it did. I was listening to sermons to get me through it, i started praying god would heal him and help him be better so he could come back to me and we could try again because I can’t give up on someone I love. For 2 months I cried and begged that god would bring him back and heal us and help us grow together and separately in the lord. Then one night while I was out dancing with my friends at a bar, I saw him looking at me across the room, and it just so happened to be the day after the protective order was no longer in effect. We started talking and attempted at working things out so I stopped praying. He cheated again with my friend and we split. So I started praying he would come back, and time and time again he came back but the same thing happened. I hate that it took all of that for me to grow closer to god. We recently started working on being together again and it was going so good until last friday. He went to the coast with two of his guy friends and one of their girlfriends came and took a picture with my boyfriend and posted it so I automatically assumed he was cheating and got mad. Apparently there was nothing going on with them, but my friend who’s cousins with the two guys ended up going out there to the beach too. I was venting to her about how I felt and she was giving me advice, but I guess she saw it as an opportunity to sleep with my boyfriend. He hid it from me all weekend, and when he came home sunday he was acting off. I had been feeling anxious so i started praying again for peace, but today she posted a picture of her in the bed we slept in together for 2 years. I don’t know if this is just the devil trying to get between me and god, trying to make me think it’s not worth the prayers and the time spent with him, or if possibly it’s the devil trying to come between me and my now ex by shoving temptations in his face that he succumbed to in the past. I’m so hurt right now, but for some reason I keep feeling like this isn’t the end of me and him. Maybe that with gods help and guidance we can both grow together and separately in the lord, and if it’s gods plan and we get back together this time leave space for god and try and do it right this time. I feel crazy sometimes knowing the things that happened in the past with him, and still praying for him all the time hoping eventually everything will work out with us. I know god has a plan, but i can’t help but beg him to bring this man back to me. He had been doing so much better about his anger and the way he speaks to me, he had been so sweet and caring, and then he was tempted in an area he’s weak in. I know everything will happen the way god wants it to, but I’m struggling so bad trying to trust him to get me through it. I got fired from my job 3 weeks ago, lost my house on the 1st of this month because I couldn’t make rent, and now I’m losing the man I want to grow in christ with and spend the rest of my life with. I’m so lost, and hurt, and angry, I keep praying for peace and guidance for the both of us but I’m terrified it will never come. I pray that god will help him be the man I know he can be, but i’m so scared that he’s going to stay with my friend, that my prayers that i’ve been praying for him for so long won’t be answered. I can’t shake the feeling that he is the one for me, I can’t read the signs gods showing me because what if it’s the devil tempting him and god trying to show him he’s supposed to follow him and eventually spend his life with me when the times right, or what if i’m just not seeing them and choosing to continue to hold out for something that will never happen no matter how much I cry, and scream, and pray that it will. I don’t know what else to do anymore, I feel as though I have nothing and that I am nothing, I want to be closer to god because at least I’ll always have him but it’s so hard when I feel like maybe I’m only wanting to do that because he may bring the man I love back. I don’t know how to grow closer to god when I feel so lost, and so tired of everything. I feel like my entire teenage and early 20s I spent denying him and pushing him away, maybe I’m not worth his time anymore. All I know is that I pray for a closer relationship with god for both me and my ex and hopefully maybe one day we can have a relationship that is blessed by god. I’m so scared that it won’t happen though and I hate not having answers. I want to fully lean on the lord so bad because I have nothing else, but I don’t know how to fully let go and give it all to him. It scares me not knowing the path I’m on and where it’s going to take me, not knowing if me and this man will ever have a blessed relationship full of love and kindness and happiness and joy. I feel like all I’ve ever wanted was to feel loved, to feel cherished, to be cared for, to care for someone, to love someone. I’m on my way back down to rock bottom after clawing my way back up and I feel so defeated, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get back up once I hit the bottom again.

 

[Binenvin]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Articles]

Heavenly Father,

We come before You today with hearts full of gratitude and reverence, seeking Your divine guidance and blessings for Glasowaeg. Your Word tells us in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." We stand on this promise as we lift up Glasowaeg to You.

Lord, we pray for Glasowaeg's spiritual growth and deepening relationship with You. May Glasowaeg find joy and strength in Your Word, as it is written in Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Guide Glasowaeg in every step, illuminating the path with Your truth and wisdom.

We also ask for Your provision and protection over Glasowaeg's life. Just as You provided for Elijah in the wilderness (1 Kings 17:6), we trust that You will meet every need according to Your riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). Shield Glasowaeg from any harm and grant peace that surpasses all understanding.

Lord, we pray for Glasowaeg's relationships, that they may be rooted in love and mutual respect. Help Glasowaeg to be a beacon of Your love and grace, reflecting the teachings of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which remind us that love is patient, kind, and rejoices with the truth.

Father, we also lift up any specific concerns or challenges that Glasowaeg may be facing. Whether it is a matter of health, finances, or personal struggles, we know that You are the Great Physician and Provider. We ask for Your healing touch and miraculous intervention, as You are the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

We pray for discernment and wisdom for Glasowaeg in making decisions. May Your Holy Spirit guide and direct every choice, aligning them with Your perfect will. As James 1:5 assures us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

Lord, we also take this moment to gently correct and guide any requests that may not align with Your Word. We know that Your design for marriage is between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24), and we trust in Your perfect plan for life from conception (Psalm 139:13-16). We seek to honor You in all aspects of our lives, and we pray for understanding and alignment with Your will.

In all these things, we pray in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.

 

[A C / A O]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.