Fykach
Disciple of Prayer
God and Jesus i know you're with me without a doubt. I know bits and pieces of darkness taint me everyday. I believe in the spiritual warfare that's going on but I also believe every single one of my prayers gets answered. I lack patience. I believe I hear your voice of assurance to hold on but I crack due to not being able to hold on long enough and let doubt, jealousy, frustration take over. Sadly enough I almost enjoy those sad emotions as well because I can start to cry from them. I don't think I should hold on to them the way I do as beautiful as all emotions are. I get angry at everything. I honestly think it's about a girl I like and possibly love and just can't get. I believe you give it to me cause I desire but I just can't grasp it. I have so many excuses but I just want to blame evil or just a trial that never ends. Admitting this I feel so shitty falling short all the time especially when I know you're with me. I want this beautiful angel named Carolyn and I want to protect her and provide for in so many and all ways, physically, spiritually, and mentally
I want her for mine and I'm not shy of marriage. I'm emotional and it's beautiful but I can't get enough of it and I can't seem to get what I want because of it. I'm extremely doubtful and jealous. I also lean on my spirit too being to proud of how saved I think I am and maybe that's part of it. I know I need to pursue God, Jesus, and the holy Spirit for the rest of my life which I don't mind. I just don't have patience and the way I think and feel, I feel like I deserve and want everything now. I believe I've been though trials enough and that might be wrong. I'm just a big baby/ panzy. I believe theres bad spirits at play as well. I just want this relationship to start and happen :/
I want her for mine and I'm not shy of marriage. I'm emotional and it's beautiful but I can't get enough of it and I can't seem to get what I want because of it. I'm extremely doubtful and jealous. I also lean on my spirit too being to proud of how saved I think I am and maybe that's part of it. I know I need to pursue God, Jesus, and the holy Spirit for the rest of my life which I don't mind. I just don't have patience and the way I think and feel, I feel like I deserve and want everything now. I believe I've been though trials enough and that might be wrong. I'm just a big baby/ panzy. I believe theres bad spirits at play as well. I just want this relationship to start and happen :/