MikeN
Disciple of Prayer
In Genesis God said "It's not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper", but I'm 57 now and have been alone for decades. Jesus said, "I've come that you might have life and have it abundantly" but my life has been one of stagnation, loneliness, failure, and broken dreams. God said he wishes that "we should prosper and not perish", yet when I pray for reassurance, wisdom, clarity, more faith, none comes. God said it was his "Good will to give us the Kingdom" but when it comes to heaven Jesus said, "For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it". Why then God, do you keep pumping out souls only for the many to enter Hell? If I had a factor that produced a product the was faulty and ending up killing people I would shut the factory down and re-evaluate. We are talking about eternal suffering here. And yet what do you provide us with? A book that is as hard to read as a Chinese instruction manual. Firstly, how do we know that book is from you? Secondly, which part of it is to be taking literally and which symbolically? Thirdly, which language translations are accurate in which are not? And what about the vague nature of most of it? It doesn't specifically mention masturbation and so on? For example? Can a lonely man fantasize about making love to his future wife he hasn't met yet? And what about the seeming inconsistences? "turn the other cheek", "And eye for an eye". You, God, preach forgiveness and to not to hold a grudge, yet You send people to eternal Hell? I walk the graveyard often for exercise. I see babies graves who died young. I say to them they should look at me and say "There but for the grace of God go I" because they were taken while they were innocent. They didn't get tested or tried. They weren't dragged through the mud by a hard task master doom and gloom God who puts people through the gauntlet. They became instant angels and instant residents of Heaven. Oh, that I wish that happened to me when I was young. No only would I have been able to avoid this horrific life, but more importantly my soul wouldn't be in danger of hellfire. You see, like Job, the devil must of asked permission to attack me. And attack he did. Moreso than my neighbors, classmates, siblings, relatives. He took a special liking to attack me back while I was still good. Like I was an innocent lamb and Jesus picked me up and threw me into a pit of rabid wolfs. And as the rabid wolfs began to bite the lamb looked up at Christ crying for help only for Christ to turn his back as the wolfs tore him from limb to limb. That was me. And now, after being dragged through the mud of sin, I stand here dirty. I'm pissed at you because this didn't have to happen. I thought life was a testing ground to better a person. But I'm worse now than when I began. And yet I see you blessing bad people and rewarding them for bad behavior and they are becoming worse people. Your system seems flawed to me. It's backwards. Eventually you took the devil off of Job and restored his life. Did you forget to take the devil off of mine? This pounding I've been taking is counter productive now. What I need is you to show me your love! It's kinda like this: Say there was a puppy that was terribly abused and a one adopts it from a shelter. It's behavior is terrible, it doesn't trust anyone anymore, it's scared, overreactive, sad. Smacking it with a newspaper and yelling "bad dog" at it won't help. It will only hurt at this point. You know what would save that dog? Love. Why is it like pulling teeth to get you to show me your love and goodness? All I've seen all my life is the doom and gloom angry God. Let me be happy. Reward and punishment works only to a degree. I would respond to positive reinforcement. Indeed, I need positive experiences, forgiveness, miracles, reassurance, comfort. love now more than ever. Please send it. Show me your other side. The humorous, understanding, gracious, generous, fun side of you. Fix my life. At 57 my teeth are in bad shape, my back is not good, my eyesight is going, and I'm chronically tired all the time. My finances are dangerously pathetic. The brain damage I got from a doctors overdose has put me behind academically, socially, etc. How can I be fruitful when you don't empower me and when you allow the devil to put supernatural blocks on me every time I try to better my life? How can I be condemned for not having fruit when all I ever prayed for was exactly that but you refused my prayers to the contrary? Prayers for a wife, fulfillment, good friends, success, health, wisdom, and so on. Fix my life and heal my soul. Please, is it so wrong to want to be happy and to see your goodness?
Hello everyone! Let's lift up these requests in Jesus' Name. 
**Prayer Update:**
**Anonymous** needs prayers for brother's pain relief.
**Anonymous** prays for human trafficking exposure & family finances.
Let's lift up these needs in Jesus' name:
Transformation for 
Peace for 
Healing for 
Let's lift up these requests!
