Berrayll
Disciple of Prayer
So had a good date with daya as official girlfriends. I told her about the fact that my brother wants me to put my name on the mortgage. She seemed understanding but also asked me what about my future, wouldn’t my credit be ruined because of this? I also did tell her that when he gets married he would end up taking my name off the mortgage and putting his wife’s name. And whilst my brother may or may not be able to take my name off, it is not a guarantee. She basically told me that I should contact the bank. He isn’t even in a relationship yet so. I can’t help but wonder if she is thinking that there is no future with me? Especially when there are things like this getting in the way. The only reason I did agree to be on my mortgage was because of my parents asked me to and the fact that my brother has been constantly harassing them about the fact that he doesn’t have a house yet and his friends do. I don’t know now. I am scared of us breaking up because of this. I have been so stressed since I have started seeing her not because of her but because of the fact that I need to come out to my Indian parents…. I am also someone who worries a lot…. Maybe it will be possible to take my name off since we are putting a big deposit. I did tell her I haven’t done much research into this. But I also think I should be honest with her and not hide things. If someday I am lucky enough that me and her work out, i would love to build a life with her. I will contact the bank. She is bi and lot of people want to be with her, idk why she chose me out of all the people. I am scared of how all this works out! I don’t even know if she will patient and stay to see things working out. I also care about her and would want her to be happy even if it will kill me knowing it is not with me. Daya met me during the most complicated time of my life. With so much uncertainty present. Despite that I guess she sees something in me that I don’t see. My life is a chaos rn. I can be too intense and too much sometimes especially with how much I want to hold her hand and kiss her. It is difficult to say goodbye to her. I have got into the habit of making her late because I’m too selfish and want more kisses. Also she is my first ever relationship.