Should I stay with wife, or move on? Things are not getting better

[ITryMyBest]

I am married to a much younger "woman". I'm 32, soon to be 33, going on 50. She's 24, going on 18.

Very pretty, was sweet when I first met her, and for some time in the beginning of our relationship. I've made a couple mistakes, but nothing big. Wasn't perfect, but was pretty darn good. Both to her, and our 4 year old daughter.  She's been a pretty good wife, but very cold, unloving, which I slightly understood... she was raped for many years as a child by a "stepdad", and has a very cold, mean, lying mother. My parents on the other hand are very good people, and I lived a good childhood.

I love her a lot, and have sacrificed A LOT for her... paid for her vocational school, her down payment on car, and millions of other things and since we've been separated for some time now, half her rent, and daycare, so she can work.

And she doesn't care. She says she doesn't love me. She pushed me away till we separated, and she got with someone else during that time ("But we were separated!" she says, justifying it... separated, with me crying to her every week or so begging her to love me again... separated to her favor).

She came back to me crying after, I assume (I'm not dumb... I see many things) getting in a fight, possibly dumped by new guy, who didn't want something with a girl with a child... she probably got used. She told me she wanted to really make it work. That things with him weren't the same, felt empty. She felt complete with me.

The prodigal wife.

I worked my best to forgive, and we were okay for a couple of weeks. Had some very nice days / nights, with a few reminders of problems we had, but she wasn't putting effort... then I went to hug her one day, and naturally told her "I love you"... it just came out... and she stopped and said "I really like you..."

This was like a quick slap to the face... I've been with her, off and on 4 years now... and she's going to say this? I know this girl loves me. When I ignore her, she always comes around. If she even suspects I was speaking with someone, it freaks her out... she doesn't know she loves me.

She watches these dumb "novelas" (spanish soap operas)... the other day, after this I love you mess (where I left that same day), I told her I'm tired of not being loved for who I am, and appreciated, and she was going to find out what she missed too late, and she said to give her time... a step at a time.

Then she tells me she wants to be with someone who she thinks about all the time... and I'm not there yet. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but this is what happens in a honey moon stage... and then it wears off... this girl is completely unrealistic.

I'm still pretty young, and don't want to waste my time with an unloving girl, who takes me for granted, has cheated on me, and may drop me in an instant... but then I think, what if she is really trying... and what if we can get back to that place we were before... she was my girl, and I was her man, and everyone knew it... I still have that small bit of hope. But life keeps stomping my hope out.

God, please point me in the right direction as to what to do... please shine light on the situation. If she will change for the better, let me see... if it will never happen, let me see... and give me strength, and a bit of grace, to continue on in my life without suffering so much....

Thank you, God. I love you and thank you for all the good things you have given me... 

David

 

[smoore2002]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[marielise]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[LLP]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[kbehrent]

Read the book of Hosea, several times.  How many times have we strayed from the Lord, and each time we come back He says, "I love you.  There is nothing that you can do that well make me love you more.  There is nothing you can do that will make me love you less."  Our love is supposed to be patterned after the love of Jesus. We are supposed to become like Jesus in our lives.

I went through a similar situation with my first wife.  Because of it I grew very close to the Lord and I did His teachings in my life.  Because I was following the way of the Lord He brought about the situation to a point where my wife had to decide whether she would stay with me or not.  She decided to not  stay, and only then did the Lord release me to leave.  It was another 5 years before I was fully released to marry again, even through my ex-wife had married again. 

Now is the time to apply the teachings of Jesus to your life and marriage. 

I applied Psalm 4:20-23 to my life, even though I did not know the passage of scripture at the time.

Proverbs 4:20-23 (KJV)
20  My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21  Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22  For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh(wife).
23  Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

IN the name of Jesus, I bless you with the life of God.

 

[Angela M]

I am praying for this, may God bless you. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

[Isabelle10]

Praying



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[JesusIsMyOnlyHope]

Lord, look upon us with eyes of mercy. May Your healing Spirit rest upon us. It is through Your power that we were created. Since You created us from nothing, You can certainly recreate us. Fill us with the healing power of Your Spirit. May Your life-giving powers flow into every cell of our bodies and into the depths of our souls. Mend what is broken. Cast out anything that should not be within us. Rebuild our brokenness. Restore our strength for service in Your Kingdom. Touch our souls with Your compassion for others. Touch our hearts with Your courage and infinite love for all. Touch our minds with Your wisdom, that our mouths may always proclaim Your praise. Teach us to reach out to You in my need, and help us to lead others to You by our example. Most loving Heart of Jesus, bring our health in body and spirit that we may serve You with all our strength. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen

 

[CJL80]

I prayed for you. May God bless you.