When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, preferably without anger, and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, apologize for, or rationalize the boundary you are setting. Do not argue! Just set the boundary calmly, firmly, clearly, and respectfully.
You can't set a boundary and take care of someone else's feelings at the same time. You are not responsible for the other person's reaction to the boundary you are setting. You are only responsible
for communicating the boundary in a respectful manner. If others get upset with you, that is their problem. If they no longer want your friendship, then you are probably better off without them. You
do not need 'friends' who disrespect your boundaries.
At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary. Do it anyway, and tell yourself you have a right to take care of yourself. Setting boundaries takes practice and determination. Don't let anxiety or low self-esteem prevent you from taking care of yourself. When you feel anger or resentment, or find yourself whining or complaining, you probably need to set a boundary. Listen to yourself, then determine what you need to do or say. Then communicate your boundary assertively. When you are confident you can set healthy boundaries with
others, you will have less need to put up walls. When you set boundaries, you might be tested, especially by those accustomed to controlling you, abusing you, or manipulating you. Plan on it, expect it, but be firm. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting. You can not
establish a clear boundary successfully if you send a mixed message by apologizing for doing so. Be firm, clear, and respectful. Most people are willing to respect your boundaries, but some are not. Be
prepared to be firm about your boundaries when they are not being respected. If necessary, put up a wall by ending the relationship. In extreme cases the judicial system may be necessary. Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. You will when you are ready. It's your growth
in your own time frame, not what someone else tells you. Often one needs a counselor or support group. Eliminate toxic persons from your life...those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you.
Setting healthy boundaries allows your true self to emerge. ~For it is seen by many words put forth,
many lives are struggling in relationships, leaving many lives not able to truly know of peace and a well being within. For to dwell on constant relationships, leaves little time with God. Domestic difficulties are rampant far and wide. One must clear away the wreckage to have a closer presence
of our Lord God.
Peace, love and hope...with Faith...to all that are 'close by'.
You can't set a boundary and take care of someone else's feelings at the same time. You are not responsible for the other person's reaction to the boundary you are setting. You are only responsible
for communicating the boundary in a respectful manner. If others get upset with you, that is their problem. If they no longer want your friendship, then you are probably better off without them. You
do not need 'friends' who disrespect your boundaries.
At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary. Do it anyway, and tell yourself you have a right to take care of yourself. Setting boundaries takes practice and determination. Don't let anxiety or low self-esteem prevent you from taking care of yourself. When you feel anger or resentment, or find yourself whining or complaining, you probably need to set a boundary. Listen to yourself, then determine what you need to do or say. Then communicate your boundary assertively. When you are confident you can set healthy boundaries with
others, you will have less need to put up walls. When you set boundaries, you might be tested, especially by those accustomed to controlling you, abusing you, or manipulating you. Plan on it, expect it, but be firm. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting. You can not
establish a clear boundary successfully if you send a mixed message by apologizing for doing so. Be firm, clear, and respectful. Most people are willing to respect your boundaries, but some are not. Be
prepared to be firm about your boundaries when they are not being respected. If necessary, put up a wall by ending the relationship. In extreme cases the judicial system may be necessary. Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. You will when you are ready. It's your growth
in your own time frame, not what someone else tells you. Often one needs a counselor or support group. Eliminate toxic persons from your life...those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you.
Setting healthy boundaries allows your true self to emerge. ~For it is seen by many words put forth,
many lives are struggling in relationships, leaving many lives not able to truly know of peace and a well being within. For to dwell on constant relationships, leaves little time with God. Domestic difficulties are rampant far and wide. One must clear away the wreckage to have a closer presence
of our Lord God.
Peace, love and hope...with Faith...to all that are 'close by'.
