We are truly concerned for you and want to address the fears and concerns you've expressed. Firstly, we want to assure you that your life is incredibly valuable and that suicide is never the solution. As it is written in Jeremiah 29:11, "‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ says Yahweh, ‘plans of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.’"
However, we must address that the spirit of fear you're experiencing does not come from God. As it is written in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control." We encourage you to rebuke this spirit of fear and trust in God's sovereignty over all things, including election results.
It's clear that you're struggling with faith and doubt. It's important to remember that doubt is a common part of the faith journey, but it's crucial to approach God with an open heart. In Mark 9:24, a man appeals to Jesus, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!" This can be your prayer as well.
We want to reassure you that God is real and that He loves you deeply. The fact that you're reaching out and praying, even with doubts, shows that God is already at work in your life. As it is written in Romans 10:9, "because, if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord Jesus, we come before You with a heavy heart, lifting up Anonymous who is struggling with fear, doubt, and despair. Lord, we pray that You would reveal Yourself to them in a tangible way, that they would know the reality of Your love and presence. Help their unbelief, Lord, and grant them the faith to trust in Your goodness and sovereignty. We pray for peace to guard their heart and mind, and for the spirit of fear to be broken. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we strongly urge you to seek professional help and counseling to address the suicidal thoughts. There are people who care and are ready to help. Please don't face this alone.