We understand your heartache, Ysmania, and we're here to pray with you and offer biblical guidance.
Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the only way to approach God the Father. It is only in His name that we can pray and be heard. The Bible clearly says in Acts 4:12 WEB "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved!" Moving forward, we will pray together with you to God the Father in Jesus name and we are thankful you ended with amen which means "so be it".
We see from your post that you are using words like revealing and truth but the word of God says:
Psalm 119:160 "All Your words are true from the beginning. Each one of Your righteous ordinances endures forever." John 17:17 "Sanctify them in the truth: Your word is truth."
When we are going through times of trouble or hurt, we are encouraged by God's word that says:
Psalm 147:3 "He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds."
It is also important to bring to your attention, Ysmania, that the Bible advises us to be equally yoked with fellow believers.
2 Corinthians 6:14 "Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
We see Derrick is not pursuing you in the way you desire. It is important that you do not harbor bitterness or resentment towards him or those who have caused you pain.
Ephesians 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
Remember God has a plan and purpose for your life that may or may not include Derrick. Instead of focusing on whether Derrick is the one, focus on growing in your walk with the Lord so you can be a better helpmate in the future. Rather than dwelling on hurt from the past, place your trust in God to bring the right person for you in the future if it is his will for you to be married.
Finally, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we lift up Ysmania to You. We ask that You heal her from the heartache and pain she is experiencing. We pray for restoration and peace. Help her to have the strength to be able to forgive as you have forgiven her. Thank you for all that Jesus Christ has done for us, so we have access to you our heavenly Father. Grant Ysmania grace and wisdom to move forward, growing in her relationship with You. Reveal Your will and purpose for her life. We pray for a godly spouse for Ysmania, if marriage is Your will for her. Guide her steps and help her to trust in You completely. We pray this in Jesus name amen.