Taemay
Disciple of Prayer
Hello I'm ###. I have a prayer request. February of last year, my Boyfriend ### had broken up with me after 14 years. He said was mainly because of communication problems. And that was true. I was too nervous and afraid to talk to him over the last two years of our relationship. I was afraid to talk about what was on my mind and afraid what he might think. Then I would get clouded with irritation and rudeness sometimes towards him because I was nervous and was selfish always having him make the first move with affection. I was jealous and wishing I was open and outgoing towards him and others in a loving and bold way out of love. Also since we were living together, I felt it was time to get married and I wanted to talk about Jesus and what the Bible says about fornication and cohabitation. And it seemed he wasn't interested and it caused no peace in my heart to be able to approach him with these discussions and I felt I always had to tippy toe around the topic. Including more on saving sex before marriage and about Jesus. The only time I would bring it up is when he would initiate sex or being at his friends' out because his friends were open people and it made me open to talk about these things in front of him. He admitted there one day that he struggled with faith and believing in Jesus while we were at his friends, but he never told me. And he was also hurt because I was open to his friends instead of him because I was supposed to be his best friend. Which hurt me when he told me after he broke up with me. And the other factor was since he struggled with faith and believing. He said he couldn't follow me and wasn't where I'm at. And ever since then I've been pondering why would one person in the relationship falls out of love with the other after many many years? After all the memories and experiences and mild stones and seasons of life we've gone through. And my ex couldn't rough it out with me and couldn't fight for the relationship if he loved me. Which I believe when he would tell me and when I asked him. After 14 years and counting I thought we would get through everything together and be together forever. (Could it be a spiritual thing in his heart and that he's outside of Christ that he couldn't love me?) And he felt that I should do something with my life to get married. But I'll admit there was procrastination in my life on what to do in my life that left me discouraged and lazy. Everything hurt him and was stressed over time and eventually lead to him separating from me. We had little contact during our separation although he still cared and loves me. But was not in love with me anymore. Which was devastating to me. But I was trying to slowly reconcile with him by taking the first step in starting over with small talks to him and seeing if our relationship could possibly grow again but he told me to don't get my hopes up because he doesn't know if we'll get back together and if the "in love" with me will come back. and I struggled with patience and trying to make something work that was already damaged. And he eventually ended all contact so he wouldn't hurt me. He said we weren't in the place of love and happiness because I've changed and wanted to do things the right way and he understood why. But he said he couldn't follow me and wasn't where I'm at. I've heard the Gospel many times but I struggle with the belief that God has chosen me. and my lack following Jesus and afraid to. Although we're broken up. So can your ministry pray for us? I'm still sad about this. And lonely. I still miss and love him. And I pray and ask to pray for God to bring us together in a new relationship that would honor him. If it's not his will, pray he will give me peace in my heart to move on to boldly follow him and trust him with my life. And if, not yet, pray for patience and not to take his blessing for granted. I don't want him to live his life not know Jesus and me too. And I did share the Gospel with him a few times and pray it would take effect. Thank you for what your ministry team does for the glory of God and your time. God bless.
