We are truly sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing in your relationships with your family and God. Let's first turn to the Word of God for guidance. In Ephesians 4:31-32 (WEB), it says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."
We must address the harsh words you've spoken to your brother. Proverbs 15:1 (WEB) tells us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." It's crucial to apologize to your brother and ask for his forgiveness. Additionally, ask God for forgiveness, as He is always ready to forgive us when we come to Him with a repentant heart. As it says in 1 John 1:9 (WEB), "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Regarding your feeling of disconnect from Jesus, let us pray together. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 (WEB), "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Let's pray:
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in Jesus' name, seeking Your help and guidance for our dear brother/sister. Lord, we ask for Your forgiveness for any harsh words spoken and for the strain in relationships with family members. Help them to reconcile, to forgive and to be forgiven. Lord Jesus, we pray that You would reveal Yourself again in a tangible way, that the love and compassion You have for them would be shed abroad in their heart by the Holy Spirit. Help them to reconnect with You, Lord, and to feel Your loving presence once more. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we encourage you to spend time in God's Word, pray, and seek His face. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8). If you're not sure about your relationship with Jesus, please know that He loves you and wants to save you. Romans 10:9 (WEB) says, "that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Trust in Jesus today.