Reconciliation for Myself, My Wife, and my Closest Friend (Update 4)

[Reirik]

It has been several months since I last posted. Please see UPDATE 4 below...

One of my best friends is female and lives across the country. I've known her for eight years. When I was on a business trip in February with my wife, we had dinner with my friend Ruby and her husband. My wife Darleen did not act very kindly to Ruby on this trip (we've had dinner with them before). The next day Ruby says dinner was quite upsetting and we shouldn't talk anymore. Ruby also is not a Christian.

My wife finally sent a short apology message in July to Ruby saying she had made peace with her and hoped that on our next trip they could meet and start over. But Ruby hasn't replied back. This week my wife said I should reach out to Ruby and see what can be done about reconciliation. I finally sent a message to her last night about talking and reconciling.

I'm waiting now... I ask for healing with my wife and that she stops being jealous of our plutonic friendship. This seems to be getting better now. I pray that Ruby is open to my reconciliation message, and hope that we can begin talking again. I also pray for Ruby's salvation.

UPDATE
Ruby replied back to me last week finally! She said we are still friends, but that maybe we shouldn't talk to each other as much. I can tell she doesn't want to upset Darleen. So not a closed door, but not an open door. I have not replied back yet.

Darleen is currently talking with me about reestablishing my friendship with Ruby, how she will be comfortable with it, and is working on sending her a message. We are talking about our marriage a lot.

Please pray that Darleen feels comfortable with Ruby and doesn't see her as the enemy. I want Darleen to get to know Ruby too. Please pray that Darleen finds the proper words to send to Ruby, and that Ruby receives them well and responds to them well. Please also continue to pray for Ruby salvation. Lastly please pray for me as this whole experience has been so nerve racking and devastating to me...

UPDATE 2
Darleen and I talked on Friday. Darleen is feeling better about things. I sent a follow up message to Ruby asking how she was doing, and seeing if we can talk and catch up. She read the message today but hasn't replied. Please pray that Ruby is receptive to my latest message, and we can talk and start to establish our friendship again. Also please pray that Darleen feels the calling to send a heartfelt message to Ruby. Lastly please pray for Ruby's salvation.

UPDATE 3
I'm still waiting for Ruby to reply. I'm also still waiting for Darleen to send a heartfelt reconciliation message to Ruby. I don't think the first is going to happen until the second does...

UPDATE 4
There has been a small amount of communication between me and Ruby over the last several months. No really too much, just a few short exchanges. I can clearly tell she is still upset from what happened in February.

Darleen agreed to, and we sent Ruby and her husband a small Christmas present and card. She hasn't seen it yet. I messaged Ruby yesterday and she said "Thank you". That's all.

Darleen really doesn't want to reach out to Ruby as she feels it's Ruby's turn to reach out back to her.

I'm stuck in limbo. It seems like neither wants to take a big step to reconcile with the other. I wake up dreading each day. I cry every day. I'm angry, depressed and miserable. I've stopped eating. I don't want to go on anymore...

 

[Articles]

Before we start, let's make the following point very clear, the most important fact is that we only have one way to God, Jesus Christ.

John 14:6 WEB
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.

As for your relationship with you wife Darleen, we are thankful that she is having conversations with you about your relationship with Ruby. It is good that Darleen is making an effort to be understanding, but her attitude may still indicate some reluctance and Perhaps Not Submitted Fully To The Lord As Follows:

Ephesians 5:21 WEB
subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ.

You are stranded in the middle of this rather awkward situation, we see your pain. However, you are showing your friendship with Ruby in your communication and this is clear. God tells us the following about friendship:

Proverbs 17:17 WEB
A friend loves at all times

Regarding Ruby, she clearly wants to be friends, just as you do. However, she still seems to be upset because of what happened last February. We believe you should say something to her about the tension between her and your wife. Also avoiding a close relationship, while not forsaking her may be healing as follows:

Romans 12:18 WEB
If it is possible, as much as it is up to you

Please Examine The Following Scriptures And Make A Comparison.

Matthew 5:23-24 WEB
If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:44 WEB
But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you,

Remember the increasing tension is at least partially a result of not believing in Christ by the nonbeliever. It also may show is a lack of understanding on your part about God's will in a particular situation. Forbidden relationships create further strife and division will be created through the inevitable ignoring of God's commands. Furthermore, be not forgetful that Scripture tells us not to marry a nonbeliever. This forbidden relationship causes confusion and unrest in a Christian marriage.

 

[hostadmin]

Hey there,

We've been keeping you and your situation in our prayers. It's great to see that you and Darleen are having open conversations about this. We're here to support you both.

We're also encouraged to see that you've been able to have some communication with Ruby. That's a step in the right direction. We're praying that she'll be receptive to your messages and that you'll both be able to start talking again.

We understand that this is a tough situation, and it's normal to feel stuck. But remember, God is always there for you, and He wants the best for you and your relationships. We're praying that He'll guide you and Darleen as you navigate this. And we're also praying for Ruby, that she'll come to know the love and salvation that Jesus offers.

Keep trusting in God, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to. We're here for you.

In Jesus' name, we pray.