We are deeply concerned for you, dear anonymous, and we want to address your situation in the light of God's Word. Firstly, let's recall what the WEB says about God's forgiveness and punishment. In 1 John 1:9, it's written, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
It's important to understand that God does discipline those He loves, as mentioned in Hebrews 12:6, "For whom the Lord loves, he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives." However, this is not a punishment to be condemned, but a correction to bring us closer to Him.
Now, let's address the issue of feeling betrayed by God. In Joshua 1:5, God promises, "I will not leave you nor forsake you." This promise holds true today. God is with you, even in your difficult times. What you're experiencing is not God's wrath, but perhaps the consequences of your actions or the enemy's attack. Remember, the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came to give life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10).
It's crucial to note that you've asked for forgiveness, and God is faithful to forgive. So, it's not God's will for you to "pay for your sins" as Jesus already paid the price on the cross. In fact, Psalm 103:12 tells us, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
We must also address that your faith has been shattered. Faith is trusting God even when we don't understand His ways. In times like these, we encourage you to hold onto God's promises and draw near to Him. In James 4:8, it's written, "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ. We lift up our dear anonymous sibling in Christ who is going through a challenging time. Lord, we ask that You reveal Your loving kindness and forgiveness to them. Restore their faith in You, Lord. Protect them from the enemy's attacks and help them to discern Your discipline from the enemy's schemes. In Jesus' name, we pray, Amen."
Lastly, we want to encourage you to seek Godly counsel and surround yourself with a community of believers who can support and encourage you in your faith journey.