We understand your concern for your daughter (K) and the relationship she is involved in with (R). We will pray and provide counsel based on biblical principles.
Firstly, we commend you for raising your daughter in a godly manner and for your fervent prayers for her. It is clear that you desire for her to walk in the ways of the Lord, and we will join you in praying to that end. Let us address the issues and pray together.
The Bible teaches us to "not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2 WEB). (S) encouraging (K) to live together with (R) before marriage and have a child out of wedlock is clearly against biblical principles. This is a form of fornication, which is sinful and not the will of God. It contradicts clear teachings in the Bible, such as:
"But because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife doesn't have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise also the husband doesn't have authority over his own body, but the wife. Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5 WEB)
"For God didn't call us for uncleanness, but in sanctification. Therefore he who rejects this doesn't reject man, but God, who has also given his Holy Spirit to you." Thessalonians 4:7-8
"Now the deeds of the flesh are obvious, which are: adultery, sexual immorality, uncleanness, lustfulness," Galatians 5:19
We also rebuke the teaching (or lack thereof) of (S) that living together is the proper example for your daughter to follow, especially since living together in the way described is sin. Remember her behavior will negatively influence your other daughter (M) as well. Scripture clearly tells us in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things.”
God is very clear that as a mother who follows Him that she should be training her children up in the same values:
“But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be temperate, sensible, sober minded, sound in faith, in love, and in perseverance. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers nor enslaved to much wine, teachers of that which is good, 4 that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sober minded, chaste, workers at home, kind, being in subjection to their own husbands, that God’s word may not be blasphemed. 6 Likewise, exhort the younger men to be sober minded.” (Titus 2:1-5 WEB)
We encourage your daughter to respect her upbringing and to keep her eyes firmly fixed on Jesus, the author, and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2 WEB).
This man (R) is described as controlling, manipulative, and disrespectful not only toward your daughter but also toward other family members. There is no place for such toxic behavior in a relationship, especially one that should be focused on growing in a marriage as two Christians. This is not a relationship she should be encouraging or continuing in but should be fleeing. Control in a relationship becomes bondage and bondage for a child of God is unacceptable. He has freed us from the bondage of a controlling world to be able to serve Him.
“But far be it from me to boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." (Galatians 6:14 WEB)
Control and manipulation have no place in our lives or relationships, and we are to be in control of ourselves alone.
“For what have I to do with judging those who are outside? Don’t you judge those who are within? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. “Put away the wicked man from among yourselves.”” (1 Corinthians 5:12-13)
Remember that the qualities of love are described as patient, kind, without envy, boasting, arrogance, or rudeness. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). No weapon formed against themselves will prosper when they walk with God.(Isaiah 54:17). Pray for your daughter's eyes to be opened to his behavior so she may not be blinded and can free herself from this darkness that she is in.
“See then that you walk carefully, not as unwise, but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore don’t be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." (Ephesians 5:15-17 WEB)
One of the promises we have for our children lies in Proverbs 22:6:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he won’t depart from it.”
As we apply these teachings to your situation and the relationships that your daughter’s ares involved in we must continue to pray for her. We should pray that she will have the self-control to break free and the wisdom to let her mind be transformed. But all things come with experience and confession of our sins. In Ephesians 6:1 we learn:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: 3 “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.””
Those that are in a relationship that is not pleasing to God, should not be in that relationship. This poor example set by (S) and (R) are affecting the connection between (K) and her family. It may be her intention to hurt or possibly manipulate as well. We should pray that they will not be successful in any attempt to do so. N or weapon formed, nor tongue spoken will stop the power of God’s word. Pray unceasingly for those who intend to persecute you.
“But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you,” (Matthews 5:44 WEB)
“But I tell you who hear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,” (Luke 6:27 WEB)
Their influence and attack on your family and its values should not be allowed. We should pray that her mom (S) should be teaching her to love her husband properly, her children, and above all, to seek the face of God. We have yet to mention that as both a Christian and human concern it is clear your daughter needs to receive the proper health insurance and continue her education.
Jesus Christ, heard you in your first prayers to your father. You knew what they asked for, you saw their hearts for your people. Confirm their prayers before you.
“When the righteous rule, the people rejoice; but when the wicked rule, the people groan.
“29 Now, Lord, look at their threats, and grant to your servants to speak your word with all boldness, 30 by stretching out your hand to heal; and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of your holy Servant Jesus.
” 31 When they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were gathered together. They were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.” (Acts 4:29-31 WEB)
Ask and it shall be given. From the least to the greatest the children shall be filled with the spirit and prophecy.
“It shall happen in the last days, says God, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh. Your sons and your daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions. Your old men will dream dreams. 18 Yes, and on my servants and on my handmaidens in those days, I will pour out my Spirit, and they will prophesy.” (Acts 2:17, Acts 2:18 WEB)
Your daughter needs provision for her to have health insurance and complete her education. This is not more important than an issue in her spiritual journey, and is rather is a blessing to ease the physical journey as she has kept the Lord at the center.
We ask this all in Jesus' name. Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation and when we call upon him, we shall be saved. (Romans 10:13 WEB) There is no other name by which we can be saved. “There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!” (Acts 4:12)
Lord, we come to You with a heavy heart, lifting up our sister in Christ and her daughter (K). We pray that You would intervene in this situation and open (K)'s eyes to the truth of Your word. Help her to see that the path she is on is not Your will for her life and give her the strength and courage to turn away from it.
We pray for a Godly spouse, as was discussed earlier in Ephesians, for (K), who will love her, cherish her, as Christ does the church. A spouse that will lead as a Christian family as described in your word. A person to support her in the spirit. In Jesus' name, we rebuke the spirit of control and manipulation that (R) is operating in and we pray that You would sever the ungodly soul tie that exists between him and (K).
We also pray for your daughter’s Master's program, that You would provide the necessary resources and support for her to complete it successfully. We ask that You would guide her steps and open doors for her to walk in Your will for her life.
As a public reminder to the world and all those in sin, the reality of your judgement is approaching like a thief in the night. As Christians we are to remain vigilant and encourage those around us. (1 Thessalonians 5:2).
“5 But because of your hardness and unrepentant heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath, revelation, and of the righteous judgment of God; 6 who “will pay back to everyone according to their works:” 7 eternal life to those who by patient perseverance in good work seek for glory, honor, and incorruptibility; 8 but to those who are self-seeking, and don’t obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, will be wrath, indignation,” (Romans 2:5-8 WEB)
Cralmilan, we pray peace and blessings to you and your family, and we are confident that as we lift them up to the Lord, He will work things out for their good and His glory. We encourage them to continue to trust in the Lord and to seek Him with all their heart. He is faithful and will not leave them so why should He not leave us neither.
Amen.