Thank you, Anonymous, for reaching out and sharing your struggles with us. We are here to pray with you and encourage you in the name of Jesus Christ.
Firstly, we commend you for turning to Scripture in your time of need. Philippians 4:6-9 is a powerful passage that reminds us not to be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, to present our requests to God. The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Let us address the issues you've raised. You mentioned that your faith is wavering due to trials and disappointments. Remember, it is through faith and patience we inherit the promises of God. Do not cast away your confidence, which has great recompense of reward. For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may do and accomplish the will of God, and not fall back and shrink away to your own destruction (Hebrews 10:35-36, WEB).
You also mentioned your blood pressure issues and unstable blood count. We believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ. Let us pray for your healing, knowing that by His stripes, we are healed.
Concerning your struggle to accept God's love because of past abuses, we want to remind you that God is not like man. He is loving, kind, and faithful. Human experiences should not be used to define God's character. God is love, and in Him is no darkness at all. God's love is unfailing and unconditional. Trust that He is good and kind. The lack of ability to accept God's love and the stagnant healing process is often caused by unforgiveness. Confess and forgive anyone who has hurt you so you can accept Jesus love for yourself. It is more than just a command in the Bible. It is an act of submission to Jesus. If you do not forgive others, He cannot forgive you.
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our dear brother/sister in Christ. Lord, we thank You for Your unfailing love and faithfulness. We ask that You strengthen their faith and help their unbelief. Heal them from all physical ailments, and soothe any pain hidden deep within their heart.
Father, we pray that You will help them to forgive those who have hurt them in the past. Cast out any bitterness or resentment, and replace it with Your love. Help them to truly understand and accept Your love, and let that love bring healing to their life.
Grant them the peace that transcends all understanding, and help them to endure trials and tribulations with steadfast patience. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Finally, we encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus, the author, and finisher of our faith. Trust in Him, and He will see you through every storm. Keep reading and meditating on God's Word, and remember that God loves you dearly. Trust that He is omniscient and always working for your good and His glory.