God, Thank you for this day. God, Thank you for the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit in my life, my children’s life, my brothers and sisters life, my hellyans life. Jesus, I know I ain’t perfect, and I know I should spend more time with my children, but, when my husband just yells and argues with me all the time when I do spend time with them, it’s almost nearly impossible, me and my children pretty much stay in our rooms, to avoid the cruel words of my husband, and when he talks about himself, he seems so nice. Is he called an hypocrite? And he tries to bring our children and want them to take his side for everything. It’s wrong for him trying to want the children to choose sides between mother and daddy. He accuses me when I work, that I have sex with every man who comes in the store. He is wrong. I told him even if I was having sex with another man, he couldn’t do nothing about it. And since, I’m not why can’t he believe me? And I’m tired of being accused by him. He said the only way he’ll give me a divorce is if I cheat on him because it’s what the Bible says, if a woman is married and she cheats then he shall divorce her. I asked him, do I need to cheat on you before you give me a divorce? I’m so tired of being with him. He works hard, and he’s nice to others, it’s just he’s mean and cruel to me. I have hurt him some where along the way, and he can’t forgive me. It’s fine, then let me move on with my children and we will be alright. I don’t work like I should, I should be cleaning the store everyday, but, I don’t, I do clean sometimes. I dust, sweep, and mop, and clean the bathrooms. Not everyday, though. Carl days, if he was Quader, he would fire me. Either way, it’s ok. I can find another job, and making more money. Carl says I don’t cook, and clean at home neither, sometimes I cook and sometimes I clean, not every night. Jesus, When Carl told me, he would never love me again, I quit doing everything for him. Now, he can’t back his words, and his actions have shown me he no longer loves me. He pays the bills at our hone for his rent. It’s like we are already divorced. Jesus, He wants our children, but, I don’t won’t him to have our children, because when he is drunk he gets angry with them too. And then being of me, he will take it out on them and it’s wrong. And I still do for my children when they ask me and I do for myself. Carl says, I hurt people, and that I don’t help them. He’s lying. I do try and help others when I can. And I also pray for Carl’s arthritis, it’s very bad. He complains and saying I don’t know what it feels like, and I am one of the thankful ones not to complain about arthritis, and I do get bone pain sometimes. I just don’t complain or take it out on others because it won’t do no good. I’m tired of being the bad guy. I don’t talk to Carl, he misunderstands everything I tell him, so, no, I don’t talk to Carl much because he is negative person when it comes to those who lives in the household, but, if a stranger shows up he acts like he is perfect. If Carl starts his stuff with me anymore, I am going to block his children number from his phone. I don’t won’t to hear it. He treats us who have been there for him with disrespect. Just because he is guilty for not being there for his other children and he is trying to take it out on me, and our children. Jesus, I am thankful for you in my life and how patient I am with him and others in my life, thank you. Jesus, I am tired of being patient I need to start getting up and motivate myself. Jesus, Thank you. God, In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen
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