The Woman
Prayer Warrior
Hello my Power I am back! I been doing some serious thinking? Especially about my future. I don't know what the future holds but I'm ready for things to change. I'm ready for my life to finally start making sense. I'm ready for peace. I'm longing for happiness. God I’m counting on change for the better. I don’t know your plans for me. I don’t know how the next few months will unfold but I’m counting on you to give me the strength and patience I need to get through it. I don’t know if you will answer my prayers or if you will keep taking me on another ride I wasn’t prepared for. I wish you would give me a break or MUST I go through another difficult test? I have been trying to handle everything you send my way! In the best and wisest way possible. I’ve been trying to connect all the dots and understand the bigger picture of it all. I’m guessing the bigger picture is me getting stronger but I admit Father that I am tired. My brain is tired. My heart is tired. My soul is tired. I am tired of the same patterns. I am tired of the same lessons. I am tired of the same rollercoaster. I am tired of all the signs you’ve been sending me, that I just don’t understand! I don’t get! I need straight answers! I’m ready for my life to finally start making sense. I’m ready for peace. I’m longing for stability. Even though I know that I’ll be fine eventually. I just hope I don’t get tired of counting on you. But deep inside I know that you will guide me through the hard times like you always do. But still I am tired! I don’t know God? I don’t know? I guess I’m just asking for some slack this time. I’m ready for a miracle that will lift all my heaviness and all the burdens and just finally take it all away. I’m counting on it and praying for it and hoping for it! When will the charge come? It seems as if I’m the one doing all the work! Im guessing because I feel this way, I’m not counting on you? Ok Lord I’m now going to count on you, but in a different way. This time I am going to count on my prayers toward you until you come! I’m counting on your generosity. Counting on your forgiveness. Counting on your magnificent surprises. Counting on your mercy. I don’t know what the future holds but I want it to be bigger and brighter and better than what Im used to! I need my imagination to come to pass. I want all those wishes I asked you for to come to fruition. If it’s not what I thought, make it make sense to me! Make it start to succeed and produce! Are you not the one who says all things are possible! All those impossible dreams I have I truly believed in. I want my life to be this marvelous story in the making. I don’t know if that’s how you see it or if that’s what you want for me but I’m counting on you to show me and start to turn it all around. Bring my wishes closer than yesterday. I know that you don’t disappoint those who put all their faith in you. Will from my perspective I know you don’t! I will never know for sure how things will pan out but I can only hope that your timing is aligned with mine. God this is the time for my prayers to be answered and my angels to be released. I know there’s nothing you can’t do. There’s nothing you can’t fix. If I’m wrong fix me! For me you are the only one who can turn everything around in a blink of an eye. Each day, each moment are new experiences for you! Now I am asking that each day, each moment become a new experience for me! I want to blossom throughout the rest of my life! I want that experience that would make me feel that I can adore forever. Where moments can be one to remember and shared with those you love. Make my life become like that! Make it a collection of experiences! I want a life that will burst with full of joyful moments that are meant to be cherished, prized, and remembered. Like birthdays, weddings, holidays, new years etc. I talking about an experience that goes even beyond that! Like opportunities where I can help my neighbors with groceries and then stay for iced tea on the front porch; and holding my grand kids for the first time and watching my sisters beam with laughter; seeing my first grandson graduate out of high school and college. I want to connect with a new friend after a poetry reading; or connecting with an old friend on the sidewalk. Whatever brings me moments of joy! The list goes on and on, but I said all of this to say: i really want to be able to capture bits of beauty that make me feel alive! At this time the only way i can capture it is through writing! I want it to manifest in my life! I want to picture reconnecting with an old friend and still feel elated the next day thinking about old memories together. Even simple things like going to the store and peeking at the card aisle. Scanning the rows, finding a card that speaks to me. Without having to worry about who’s going to come in shooting! I want to be able to go inside a store and buy a greeting card and as i leave, I’m giddy just thinking about sending it off, anxiously awaiting the excitement my friend will have the moment it arrives in their mailbox. I miss random acts of kindness and frequent expressions of gratitude! You know I use to love those moments! Image seeing happiness in their face! Because both the giver and the receiver felt the connection of compassion. Not to mention, the card was documenting a memory that we both keep close and held onto always. I loved the joy i use to feel when pouring my thoughts, memories, and emotions into a card for someone i know and care for. There’s nothing like it. Well at least I have this now! Writing prayers! This gives me the ability to let my mind explore and tap into my imagination. I can dot my i’s with hearts, turn my exclamation points into smiley faces, and doodle in the margins. But really God. I am waiting on you to bring such a unique and wholesome touch to my life by sharing your sentiments of love in new ways toward me. I want happiness that makes me feel like you’re sealing the envelope shut, adding a stamp, and sending it off, knowing it’s going to make my day brighter than it was before. I want to feel like I received a gift card from you, filled with joyous arrivals! Transporting me back to the good days of innocence that I remember! Like when we played Jump rope, hopscotch, double Dutch, jacks, hide and seek, and tag when the streets were safe! The bright days, the admired days, the charming days. Bring art back into my eyes. Make me feel closer to love. Make me feel nurtured of love. Bring back the days where we take our time to care for one other again! Even if it’s just picking out the right card, writing down what we felt, and mailing it! Even if we have to mail a card to ourselves. Lord Jesus make us feel again! Bring back appreciation, warmth and compassion with kindness of gratitude! In Jesus Christ name I pray! Thank you and Amen Please ….
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