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LolasMomma
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Praying, begging and desperate to save this little girl: I have a young dtr, now 7, who disclosed being molested by her dad on 2 different occasions. Once when she was 3 and again 2 yrs ago when she was 5. There was no physical evidence in first incident though she was consistent and extremely graphic in the details she gave....Social Services recommended a physical exam at a hospital so I, being a former EMT in the Milwaukee area and familiar with local facilities, I took her to the Sexual Assault and Treatment Ctr- Sinai Campus. There her statements led them to recommend further investigation so she had a forensic interview...again, completely consistent with original disclosure. However, once it got to our local law enforcement plateau, it was determined to be 'unfounded' and that was that. As horrifying as the prospect was that my little girl had to spend time alone with this monster again, I had no choice.
Fast forward 2 years and I had picked her up from dad's after a weekend visit, got her home and was getting her ready for bed giving her a bath and getting pj's on and I asked how dad's was. She immediately got uncharacteristically defensive and blurted "I don't wanna talk about it". Needless to say, a few red flags went up for me. After some reassurances from me, she told me that she had been watching a movie in dad's bedroom, he came in, took her undies off and proceeded to touch her vaginal area with "something the size of finger and then his finger". From my experience as an EMT as well as the incident 2 yrs prior, I knew I could not question her without potentially voiding the validity of any future disclosure to authorities so that was the extent I knew. I immediately collected the underwear she had come home in and bagged them and took them along to SATC as evidence.
This time, there was trauma to her vaginal area---consistent with her disclosure--and all was carefully documented by the hosp staff. They also found it odd that she kept repeating "Don't go 'in' there" when they were swabbing the area...they were not 'going in' simply gently swabbing externally. It was odd that such a young girl would have any reference to something 'going in'...also documented in report. The nail in the proverbial coffin should have been the fact that male DNA consistent with saliva was found on the underwear. We would not be expecting semen as she did not imply contact with his penis, instead, it would again be completely consistent with her disclosure and other physical evidence that saliva was found since she stated he used his finger.
Let's fast forward once again. Custody of this child was taken from me and daddy now has SOLE CUSTODY of her. Somehow, the sheriff's dept determined there is 'no evidence to substantiate the report' and therefore I am the danger to this child due to the fact that I 'unnecessarily put her through medical exams'. My daughter and I now see each other in a SUPERVISED SETTING for about an hour a week. She has to depend on the person she named as her perpetrator for all her needs and wellbeing. I left him a few months prior to the first alleged incident when she was 3 and had to go into a domestic violence shelter due to his emotional, financial and physical abuse. He was also investigated for kicking his then-10 yr old son. The investigating officer interviewed the child at his school and SUBSTANTIATED everything about being kicked as well as being sat on, thrown across a room and having his head squeezed by his father(who was in wrestling in HS so he is very knowledgeable on how to subdue). Again, despite the allegations being substantiated, report states it was NOT ABUSIVE??????
How much more has to happen to these kids before someone actually helps them? Do they have to be critically injured or killed? Emotionally how much should they be subjected to? When they grow up damaged people, who's going to foot the bill to help them then?
I promised my daughter I would always be here to protect her and I'm devastated at the fact that I was not able to keep that promise to her. She did everything she possibly could to save herself....she disclosed to her teacher(whom she gave more detail than me) and even her therapist whom she told "my dad touched my privates". He then told me that that isn't 'enough' to take action on??? What more does this county need...a video? It's shameful, harmful and horrifying. My life came to a screeching halt the day I was forced to sit at the courthouse and let her perpetrator come and take her out of my home where she was waiting with her babysitter...with my dtr desperately trying to hide in her room and lock the door to 'stay at mom's where I'm safe'....babysitter cajoling her into getting a piggyback ride to the door where 'daddy' was waiting....scrambling to get away from his touch when sitter tried handing her to him and refusing to even so much as hold his hand when he reached out to grab hers. I had been in school working towards my bachelor's in psychology at the time and I simply could no longer function. My life went dark and I spent the next couple months literally sobbing on my floor and not physically being able to eat. I was, and remain, lost knowing what this child is being forced to live through.
My daughter reported horrific events to me with details she would have no way of 'making up' and with physical evidence and DNA that cannot be faked or coached. I passed this along the proper authorities at the agencies I thought were in place to HELP in situations such as this. I did this all in good faith with clear and concise evidence that blatantly support everything she reported. How is it I can now be penalized in such a brutal way? I need to know what I need to do to fix it for my little girl.
Fast forward 2 years and I had picked her up from dad's after a weekend visit, got her home and was getting her ready for bed giving her a bath and getting pj's on and I asked how dad's was. She immediately got uncharacteristically defensive and blurted "I don't wanna talk about it". Needless to say, a few red flags went up for me. After some reassurances from me, she told me that she had been watching a movie in dad's bedroom, he came in, took her undies off and proceeded to touch her vaginal area with "something the size of finger and then his finger". From my experience as an EMT as well as the incident 2 yrs prior, I knew I could not question her without potentially voiding the validity of any future disclosure to authorities so that was the extent I knew. I immediately collected the underwear she had come home in and bagged them and took them along to SATC as evidence.
This time, there was trauma to her vaginal area---consistent with her disclosure--and all was carefully documented by the hosp staff. They also found it odd that she kept repeating "Don't go 'in' there" when they were swabbing the area...they were not 'going in' simply gently swabbing externally. It was odd that such a young girl would have any reference to something 'going in'...also documented in report. The nail in the proverbial coffin should have been the fact that male DNA consistent with saliva was found on the underwear. We would not be expecting semen as she did not imply contact with his penis, instead, it would again be completely consistent with her disclosure and other physical evidence that saliva was found since she stated he used his finger.
Let's fast forward once again. Custody of this child was taken from me and daddy now has SOLE CUSTODY of her. Somehow, the sheriff's dept determined there is 'no evidence to substantiate the report' and therefore I am the danger to this child due to the fact that I 'unnecessarily put her through medical exams'. My daughter and I now see each other in a SUPERVISED SETTING for about an hour a week. She has to depend on the person she named as her perpetrator for all her needs and wellbeing. I left him a few months prior to the first alleged incident when she was 3 and had to go into a domestic violence shelter due to his emotional, financial and physical abuse. He was also investigated for kicking his then-10 yr old son. The investigating officer interviewed the child at his school and SUBSTANTIATED everything about being kicked as well as being sat on, thrown across a room and having his head squeezed by his father(who was in wrestling in HS so he is very knowledgeable on how to subdue). Again, despite the allegations being substantiated, report states it was NOT ABUSIVE??????
How much more has to happen to these kids before someone actually helps them? Do they have to be critically injured or killed? Emotionally how much should they be subjected to? When they grow up damaged people, who's going to foot the bill to help them then?
I promised my daughter I would always be here to protect her and I'm devastated at the fact that I was not able to keep that promise to her. She did everything she possibly could to save herself....she disclosed to her teacher(whom she gave more detail than me) and even her therapist whom she told "my dad touched my privates". He then told me that that isn't 'enough' to take action on??? What more does this county need...a video? It's shameful, harmful and horrifying. My life came to a screeching halt the day I was forced to sit at the courthouse and let her perpetrator come and take her out of my home where she was waiting with her babysitter...with my dtr desperately trying to hide in her room and lock the door to 'stay at mom's where I'm safe'....babysitter cajoling her into getting a piggyback ride to the door where 'daddy' was waiting....scrambling to get away from his touch when sitter tried handing her to him and refusing to even so much as hold his hand when he reached out to grab hers. I had been in school working towards my bachelor's in psychology at the time and I simply could no longer function. My life went dark and I spent the next couple months literally sobbing on my floor and not physically being able to eat. I was, and remain, lost knowing what this child is being forced to live through.
My daughter reported horrific events to me with details she would have no way of 'making up' and with physical evidence and DNA that cannot be faked or coached. I passed this along the proper authorities at the agencies I thought were in place to HELP in situations such as this. I did this all in good faith with clear and concise evidence that blatantly support everything she reported. How is it I can now be penalized in such a brutal way? I need to know what I need to do to fix it for my little girl.
