Quanemass
Disciple of Prayer
I have several things weighing heavy on my heart tonight. I’ve never been on this website before so I thank God for letting me find it to post on here. I am asking for prayers on a clearer mind and life. First and foremost, I am fully trying to give my life to God. I have tried & tried before over the years (I am 24) I always let myself get distracted and lazy by worldly things. I know it’s the devil because I know the devil works harder when he knows you’re becoming closer to deliverance. I feel like demons literally follow me because of the awful thoughts that run through my head that are NOT things I would ever think. And how lazy I get on a daily basis and unmotivated to keep chasing God. Every time I try to pray- I get so distracted mostly by my own fears and thoughts. I have been praying Psalms 91 and it helps me feel better in the moment but I’m just so worried about not being able to fully commit. I don’t want to be a lukewarm Christian that I have always been. I don’t want my children to wind up like me neither. I feel as if I have already failed them. I have a 5 and 3 year old. I have only had them in church a handful of times. I have prayed for them but I have rarely ever tried to talk to them about God or have them pray with me. I have been actively doing this the past week and my 3 year old has no issue saying a nightly prayer with me. My 5 year old literally gets angry and says he does not want to. Every time I try to talk to him about God, he gets mad. I don’t want to pressure him but I just want him to know God because I feel like I have lacked over the years. I have been catching myself wondering if its too late. I know it’s never too late considering how hard God has been working on me this past week. But I don’t have a local church, I moved here a year ago and I’ve just never really tried to find a church for us to go. I also am stressing financially because I quit my job so that I could find a job that fits my childrens schedule and it’s been 2 weeks now and money is running thin and I’m terrified I won’t find a job that I can actually work I had to go take a test for an amazing job opportunity but they said it also takes 2 weeks to hear back from that.. so I’m praying that I get that job. I just want whatever to happen in my life to be Gods will. I just feel so defeated anymore.