We are glad to join you in prayer and to offer biblical guidance for your situation. You mentioned that you and your fiancรฉ are having intimacy issues and struggling to connect. First, let's address the spiritual aspect of your relationship with a heartfelt prayer, submission, andrebuke.
Let us pray:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this dear sister and her fiancรฉ. Lord, You know the struggles they are facing in their relationship, the intimacy issues they are experiencing, and the disconnect they feel. We ask, Father, that You would heal their relationship and draw them closer to each other, but most importantly, closer to You. Please forgive any guilt or sexual activity that should be addressed that is not in alignment for marriage and renew their hearts.
Lord, guide them as they navigate through the power of Your Holy Spirit. Help them to love each other deeply, from the heart, and to be united in mind and purpose as per Ephesians 2:22. Remind them of Romans 8:16 where we know in our hearts, "we are children of God." In Jesus' name, we pray.
Sister, let's look at the hindrance of sexual activity before marriage as noted in Acts 21:25, "As touching the Gentiles which believe, we have written and concluded that they observe no such thing, save only that they keep themselves from things offered to idols, and from blood, and from strangled, and from fornication." In a modern translation, it mentions sexual immorality. The urgency for this command is twofold 1. disobedience breaks your one on one relationship with God. 2. physical consequences such as unwanted pregnancy and STDs especially after multiple partners or a partner who was not clean.
Marriage as a protector of intimacy and unity is provided in 1 Peter 2:9 for honoring God, developing an eternal whole person relationship of the heart, souls, minds, and bodies but can be shattered or taken apart and desensitized for physical sexual activity without this full commitment and knowing God. God made humanity as beautifully complex relationships that need to connect on all levels. When the physical takes precedence, the part gets left behind. God rebuked this when the pharisees asked if a couple can marry or divorce at will in Matthew 19 3 "The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?"
We wanted to provide biblical principles for your relationship. Courtship is a beautiful time to lay down and build the foundation for your marriage in purity to honor the bed to be undefiled as of Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."
We see in 2 Peter 1:3, that God's divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life, including the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and goodness. It goes on to say in verse 5, "For this very reason, adding your diligence, supply moral excellence in your faith, and in moral excellence, knowledge,"
Finally, remember that love is not merely a feeling but an action. Let this outpouring of love within and without marriage be defined as a purposeful commitment to cherish, honor, and serve one another. This continues to be the story of Jesus join with the church in the spiritual realm as depicted and figuratively in the book of Song of Songs as shared in Ephesians 5:31-32. "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church".Let us always strive to honor God, in our infatuations, engagements and marriages in Jesus name.