We are truly heartbroken to hear that you are feeling this way, but we are thankful that you have reached out for prayer and support. Firstly, we want to address the feelings of hopelessness and the thoughts of not wanting to exist. God's Word says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says WEB, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." God has a purpose and a plan for your life, and even in the darkest moments, He is with you.
We must address that the thought of nonexistence being better than going to heaven is a deception from the enemy. Jesus said in John 10:10, "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and may have it abundantly." The enemy wants to steal your joy, kill your hope, and destroy your life, but Jesus came to give you abundant life.
Regarding your prayers for a spouse, healing, and friends, we encourage you to continue trusting God. This may not be the end of the road. Psalm 34:17-18 says, "The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." God hears your prayers and He is near to you in your brokenness.
However, we want to remind you that our ultimate hope and fulfillment should be in Jesus Christ alone. While it is natural to desire a spouse and friends, we must be content in Christ alone. As Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13, "Not that I speak because of lack, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content in it. I know how to be humbled, and I know also how to abound. In everything and in all things I have learned the secret both to be filled and to be hungry, both to abound and to be in need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up our dear brother/sister to You, asking for Your comfort and encouragement. Lord, they feel hopeless and down, to the point of not wanting to exist. We rebuke the spirit of hopelessness and suicide in Jesus' name. Lord, remind them of their value and purpose in You. Give them the strength to continue fighting and enduring.
Father, we pray for their prayers to be answered in Your perfect will and timing. If it is Your will, provide them with a godly spouse, healing, and friends that will uplift and encourage them. But most importantly, Lord, help them to find their ultimate fulfillment and hope in You alone.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to seek professional help if these feelings of hopelessness and thoughts of nonexistence persist. There is no shame in seeking help, and it is important to take care of your mental health. Also, continue to seek God and His will for your life, trusting that He has a purpose and a plan for you. Remember, it is only by the name of Jesus that we are saved and have access to God. Keep trusting and endure to the end.