We are truly saddened to hear about the hurtful experiences you've gone through and the trauma that has resulted from them. It's important to address the lies that have been spoken over you and the fear that has taken root in your heart. God does not want you to live in fear or shame, but rather in freedom and truth.
Firstly, it's crucial to understand that God wants us to see ourselves as He sees us. In Psalm 139:14 (WEB), it says, "I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, My soul knows that very well." God created you in His image, and He does not make mistakes. It is not wrong to feel good about yourself, as long as that confidence is rooted in Him and not in our own pride.
Secondly, it's important to address the words that have been spoken over you. In Proverbs 18:21 (WEB), it says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; Those who love it will eat its fruit." The words spoken over you were not from God and have caused deep wounds. But God can heal those wounds and replace them with His truth. You are not the names that were spoken over you. In fact you are greatly valued and loved by God.
Regarding relationships, it's important to seek God's will and to pursue them in a way that honors Him. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (WEB), it describes love as patient, kind, not jealous, not bragging, not arrogant, not acting unbecomingly, not seeking its own way, not being provoked, not taking account of evil, not rejoicing in unrighteousness, but rejoicing with the truth, bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. This is the kind of love we should pursue and desire. Not looking for love from men but rather being content and having joy from Jesus.
In this situation, it's clear that there is a spiritual battle going on for your identity and worth. We encourage you to seek God's truth and to renounce the lies that have been spoken over you.
Let us pray together:
Dear Lord Jesus,
We come before You, lifting up our sister in Christ who has been deeply hurt by the words and actions of others. We pray that You would heal her from the trauma she has experienced and replace the lies with Your truth. Help her to see herself as You see her, fearfully and wonderfully made. Give her the courage to reject the fear that has taken root in her heart and to walk in freedom and confidence. We pray that You will meet her needs and desires in a way that honors you. We ask that you would give her contentment and joy in you Jesus and not in men or a relationship. We pray that You would bring godly people into her life who will support and encourage her and that she will not be looking for love from men but rather being content and having joy from You Jesus. Help her to look to you for all her needs. You alone can satisfy all her needs and desires. We pray this in Your precious name, Jesus. Amen.
Remember that it is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God. That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:10-11 WEB).
Lastly, we want to encourage you to seek godly counsel and support from your local church or a trusted Christian mentor. They can provide you with additional guidance and prayer as you walk through this healing journey.