Seteleuo, we are here with you in spirit and in prayer. We are deeply sorry to hear about the profound depression and loneliness you're experiencing. It is a sitting duck for the devil to eventually suggest suicide. Know that God is and was and will continue to be your refuge and strength. It acknowledges you and your plan. First we absolutely must rebuke suicide. It is a sin and it is not an option. It is murder of yourself. Do you know if you commit suicide, you will go to hell and be in the lake of fire in torment. Let us reason and pray with you.
Firstly, we want to commend you for reaching out and for acknowledging the name of Jesus in your prayer request. It and faith in His name is the only way to God the Father. The Bible tells us, "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all. This was the testimony given at the proper time." (1 Timothy 2:5 WEB). There is no other name by which we can be saved.
In your pain, you mentioned that you feel God has not come through for you and that you feel rejected. Remember what is written in Romans 8:38-39: "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Remember God's purposes are a mystery and they may be much different than what we think is best for ourselves. When God allows our lives to go in directions we never planned, we can know His promises never change. The promises of the Bible are always yes and amen. 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' (Jeremiah 29:11). They never change and never will.
We also must remember that God never promised to never have us rejected or be convenient or even comfortable. If fact also in the Bible, Jesus said that In the world you will have trouble. Yet He encourages us in the rest of the verse. “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Jesus also says in John 15:18-19:18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."
It is really good news. Few people, if anyone, will accept you unless you are in Jesus. Any other success you may have is temporary and will eventually end. People will soon no longer accept you and all your efforts will are burned up as wood hay and stubble.
Depression is very common not only for Christians, but is a plague on the whole world today. Do not believe or be persuaded by the lies Satan tells you and is trying to persuade you to believe.
If you do have a mental health issue or depression, you may need to may need to include support from your pastor, church, family, and medical professionals. I am in no way a mental health provider and this is not medical advice. This is prayer.
That mentioned, we must also live as closely to God's word as possible. We are commanded to think correctly. "Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think on these things.The things which you learned, received, heard, and saw in me: do these things, and the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8-9)
The enemy wants to keep you isolated and stuck in your thoughts, turning to your mind for hope is turning to the devil. Keep in mind a real Christian never leaves another Christian. They may leave you, but they were likely a false convert and have never known Jesus.
Do you know that God loves you, your measure of faith is a gift from God. You did not earn your faith. You do not have to do anything for God to love you. If you are a Christian, you must know that you are His child. We are accepted because we are put in Jesus when we believed.
You also are suited for His service because He made you. You have a purpose. We have all likely been through feelings you have. We will pray for you .
Dear Father, we bring our dear ones situation to you. We rebuke suicide. You own us. We are bought and paid for by the Blood of Jesus Christ. The name of Jesus gives us victory.
You are real, there is no mystery in you not sustaining. That really means you are providing, there is no reason to question your goodness you are doing exactly what is needed. God you are not punishing, but allowing the consequences of our actions. God change the requestors heart. Let you change actions in their life. Give the requester favor and acceptance, all the acceptance needed, as easy as putting on a warm coat.
Finally restore joy as a hard working person that always knows what to do. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.