Bunnyboo🫶🏼
Disciple of Prayer
Hi I feel like I’ve hit the lowest point in my life I’m still trying find a job each place I apply too send me an email saying they are not hiring at this time etc. even though I have called said places and asked in advanced. I don’t want to live in my friends home and not help out you know? I don’t ask for their food cuase I know they already struggling they give me money to be able buy little things like McDonald’s or go 7/11 and I’m so thankful for them becuase if not I would be on streets like the homeless I walk by and think to myself how it could be me I am literally them but got lucky enough to have a place stay. As for toiletries and stuff I have my little supply which is running low but I’m ok I just wish I could get hired somewhere I even went to job help place but no call back. Ontop of that my girlfriend broke up with me due to her thinking I wasn’t being faithful. I had a second TikTok account which had 0 followers / following I told her weeks before about it and said becuase I use it when I’m sad and I overthink I repost abunch of the sad stuff yk when your sad and somehow TikTok knows so it shows a bunch of sad videos on your time line. Like that, well she assumed I was cheating I showed her my phone went thru everything I mean I really don’t talk to nobody but her and my friend. When she broke up with me I texted her mom ( I don’t know if it was the right thing to do or not ) forgive me lord for bringing another person into our relationship problems I just told her everything I had felt CUASE that night I was crying so bad to point where I couldn’t breathe. I had been in this relationship with a person whom I love so much and wouldn’t jeopardize it yet she would call me all these names b word 3 letter word starts with h and 2 faced b word constantly & would say stuff out of anger or ignore me when she got mad at me. Not talk to me for days and say it was my fault. Now I never did this to her or with ill intentions. So I told her mom and sent screenshots was it wrong of me for doing so I have no idea but I got blocked by said gf so I assume we are no longer together and it hurts because I didn’t even say anything bad about her at the end of the message I said I still love her and I wasn’t ok with being treated this way. I know most of you reading have probably been in some horrible relationships & would never wish that feeling on your kids or future kids / sibnlings / friends or relatives but ever since I moved closer to her 3 hrs away every night I had been crying for how she treated me and I let it cause i was willing to put up with it like that’s the person I want to marry. Some of you argue with your spouse & still toghter and I think it’s beautiful so I was willing to put up with it but do I desrve it no nobody does. I spent the night crying out to god and asking him like please give me a sign CUASE I’m tired of not finding job every place I go to they turn me down my relationship is in shambles and I cried it to him have you not promised for my life to be good ( I know it might have complications but he himself said I shall not go without thing are needed.) There I was crying bawling not breathing heart heavy And I started watching monsters inc to calm me down and there was this one scene where a monster gets a kids sock stuck his back so they shout 2319 I looked up 23:19 as Bible verse and here’s what came Numbers 23:19 in the Bible says, "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should repent; has he said, and will he not do it? or has he spoken, and will he not make it good?". Then I listened to this to help me sleep Job 1-42/ finding strength tough times - YouTube by Christ warriors ( I would post link but don’t think it will let me ) As I was listening I was reflecting and I felt similar to story have I done something to offend god ?? Is that why I am struggling so much did he leave me to the enemy? I asked for a sign then today I went to grocery store with my friends cousin to buy stuff for house and I saw a man grey outfit jacket a grey fitted cap and he was walking past us he had this black journal on the journal bold letters spelling out the words gratitude. When I tell you it felt as if I was seeing the letters out in slow motion. Then after that he quickly exited the store he was holding nothing but the journal like he just came in to show me that. So now I am just wondering why I’m supposed to do with gratitude ? And does prayer really work does god hear our prayers if so how does it help ? How do I start praying to him daily so he in his greatness will make my struggles my testimony and help me Also I really miss my gf but I know god was probably looking down at me for missing somebody who would call me those words or choose to ignore me