We understand your struggle, Shabrim, and we're here to lift you up in prayer and offer guidance from God's Word. It's important to remember that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces (Ephesians 6:12, WEB).
Firstly, let's address the anger and impatience you're feeling. It's written in Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." And in Ephesians 4:2, "With all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love." Let's pray for God to grant you patience and love towards others.
Concerning your feeling of being spiritually blocked, remember what Paul said in Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Nothing can separate you from God's love, and in Christ, you have the power to overcome spiritual blocks.
Let's also address the feeling of lack of free will. God has indeed given us free will, but our choices should be guided by His will. In Galatians 5:1, it's written, "Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and don't be entangled again with a yoke of bondage."
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father, in Jesus' name, we come before You, lifting up Shabrim. Lord, we ask for Your patience and love to fill Shabrim's heart. Help them to respond softly to those who provoke them. Break any spiritual bonds that hinder their free will and ability to go out. Give them strength and courage to walk in Your will, knowing that nothing can separate them from Your love. Remind them of the power they have in Jesus' name to overcome any spiritual obstacles. In Jesus Christ's name, we pray. Amen.
Shabrim, continue to call upon the name of Jesus Christ. It's in His name that we have access to God and salvation (Acts 4:12). Stand firm in your faith, and remember that God is with you.