Nyfolon
Disciple of Prayer
Prayer warriors, plse pray for me. Im tired, sometimes i come to the point that i dont want to pray. I see things comes to s point, but then something else started to go south. Ive been single for 8mths now. Im aiming for 12mths. Im so proud of myself. Ive been in a toxic relationship for 24 plus years. Have 2 kids nw 19 and 22 of age. What ever in life people going through i had and the funny thing is, I still love thus man but i had to come out of this relationship, thanks God. In the relationship i really want ti marry hm but what he was doing, what i was going through, i couldnt. He is movingnon i guess, if we talkbia abt the kids. The way hevis moving on, is he is living the good life, money, cars, home, girls, friends, parties, buying for these women. He took everything frm me the time we broke up, which is a good thing becuz i did not want hm to return. Lots of times i tell myself it was the right thing ans it was. Jb tge past he did not wnt me to leave him. Times i had to bring police to kick him out. He will stalk me. Ha, most of times i took hm back. There was a point where he stab me. Luckily it was a domestic case and after 3years he was found guilty. Man wth money he had a lawyer and me not. I bailed him out, he did not go to prision, we got back together bt i new that this will not last, i new. Things got out of control andbi had to be quiet because i was still traumatice becz of the stabbing. I prayed, and somehow he went but not like went went.Things was lots back and forward. For this 8mths he is really quiet and he is living the good life. We start talking recently. He also mention that he do love me still. I just know i will not take him back and i really want him to be happy, move on. I di love and pray so much for hm that he will stop his was. What i dont understand, make me so confuse is i hurt when i see hw he live, sometimes i think im jealous for seeing moving on or live his life. The women he gives. But when my kids need thingz since they are unemployes, they have to plead znd end up eth nothing while the women are getting cars. I hve to feed them, clothe them, support them, looking for jobs for them sometimes ans he font care. My kids adore hm, they will not demand, jst ask once and leave. Sometimes they get tht few dollars for the day. My income jst provide for debts and food, and sometimes its not enough. It hurts, im exhausted, kids, financial, house problems and this feeling for they father thst i cn not sake off. My hearts desire is that he will jst admid for what he have done and apologiese, he life his life and we jst co parenting in peace. Ireally jst wznt to be not friends bt talk sometimes and help our kids m, healthy peacefull relationship, but i knw he will never do any of what i want. Am i still angry for what he done, the pieces i have to pick up in my kids live, struggles, while he is relaxing and living his live, no concerns. I just want to be free i just dnt want to think of hm. Once i try to move away try to ignor, nlock hm, thn there is something. He will call than it seems im angry so i answer so tht not think om ok even if im not, im trying to be fine to pass thus but it does not vome to pass. I really need deliverance. Sometimes its hard to pray, i feel alone, no one understands, is it my fault. Shoo...plse pray for me to receive light, direction, relieve, courage, peace, strengh. Plse help me. I the stong women of the house, praying women, solution, doing it all women bt nw im braking, im falling appart...
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Let's lift up Dennis, Anonymous, 
