J
jlwoodford
Guest
My husband wants a divorce. I’m committed to my marriage and love my husband dearly. We have been together for 10yrs and have an 8yr old daughter. I know that he is having an emotional affair (hoping that it hasn't gone beyond that point) with a co-worker whose husband left her. To add to the problem, my husband has surrounded himself with people who enable him to make poor choices, including his own mother. Another bad influence are the bars he hangs out into the wee hours of the morning with his friends. Several times now he hasn’t even bothered to come home. To add to the problem, my husband has rejected Godly counsel. He has no Godly men in his life (his choice, people have offered). He has told me he doesn’t feel connected to me anymore; there is no fire, but he won’t allow us to really try either which tears at my heart. When we are together (as a couple or as a family) he is constantly texting her (over 100 times per day). We have seen a licensed Christian marriage counselor for 6 visits (he won’t go anymore b/c it cost money). At our last session, my husband realized and admitted he is not the man he was. He has done a 180 degree turn and I don't think he is ready to go back to the way he was (he feels life cheated him out of what he deserved & earned) but I am hoping he will see the light God is shining on him, come around and hopefully be somewhere in the middle between who he was and what he has become. I can handle him not being the man he was for 28 plus years but I can't accept the man he is now. I know he has a good heart but his clouded thoughts, hurt feelings and his unhealthy coworker are polluting his mind and soul. I pray numerous times a day that God opens his eyes to the possibility of reconciliation, opens his eyes to the truth about his coworker and opens the eyes of his coworker so she realizes the damage she is truly causing to her family and to mine. I do my best not to think badly about her and have prayed for her and her family to find their path to God (just not on the same path we are on). I am speaking with my pastor often and my daughter and I are attending church and bible study regularly. I also know our marriage problems aren’t entirely my husband’s fault. For a long time I blamed myself. I sometimes tell myself, “If only I was more respectful, loving and supportive this never ever would have happened...If I could turn back time....". I fully understand that I did not betray him, cheat him in any way or lie to him. We both broke our marriage. My great sin was miss-communication, not being open about my needs & not being open enough for him to feel he could talk with me about his needs & hurts. I did not respect my husband verbally & through my actions (nagging and negativity) enough to which caused him a deep hurt which is what pushed him to look for someone else who could give him what he needs. Also he never talked with me about our relationship and how he felt and never sought to get help early on. I was blind I didn’t know there was a problem till he said it was to late. I don’t feel or believe it is too late for us! I pray it isn’t too late. I think God has pressed upon me to bring him to God and in turn he will eventually find his way back to me and our daughter. I have been reading the bible, love and respect books, working the Love Dare and I am actively practicing what I have come to learn; to give him the unconditional respect and love he needs from me (even when he doesn’t act appropriately). I have apologized directly to him for all of my misgivings and sins against him and I am consistently respecting him. I hope in time while we are taking things slowly (going through our things, fixing up our house, putting it up for sale and becoming financially more stable) that we will reconnect during this time and rebuild our marriage as it should be, under God’s guidance and authority. I’m trusting that God will see I’m trying to be the wife he wants me to be, I am honoring my covenant with God and my husband, I am trying to walk along side Christ and be more Christ like and raising my daughter that way and hopefully will show my husband the right path to God. I pray that God will influence my husband and help open my husband’s eyes, speak to him directly and show him the way back home. Please pray for our marriage to be restored and recreated in the way God wants for it to be; for my husband to hear and feel God’s love in his thoughts and dreams; to bring peace to his soul to help heal his hurt and to rebuild over that hurt a strong Christian-based foundation for our marriage rooted in God, love and respect.
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**Anonymous** seeks travel peace & blessings.
