Saballiffe
Prayer Partner
I tried to go into my work meeting with a clear heart and mind open to hearing what was said to me. It became apparent that I am held to a different standard than others and that the goalpost is constantly being moved like I should be a mind reader.
Things that were never spoken to me were suddenly brought up, and when I tried to explain or remind myself that I followed the guidelines given, I seemed combative because the person's mind had already been made up. The way they worded things implied they spoke to others about me but never to me. The small, good feedback I received directly contradicted what I was told I needed to work on.
And I was spoken to like I was slow, asking multiple times if what was said was clear. I was told I need to plan my medical appointments like sick leave and emergencies are not a thing. Otherwise, it shows I am not committed to my role. After being unemployed for almost 2 years, a mere checkup uncovers things that need to be taken care of. I now have insurance but am nearly being penalized when I try to use it. It directly goes against all the policies of this company. I have only taken off because I had a migraine so bad I couldn’t function or because of emergency procedure after experiencing pain for two weeks.
I tried to call the company that originally owned my debt to prove my dispute, but they directed me back toward the company suing me. Who then told me the documents take time to process and I have to ask for verification of debt to get them. In turn, I'd have to fill out the form and turn it back into that department for them to investigate. And my court date is in a few weeks; with all that is going on, it's just more stress on top of stress. Everything feels tenuous, and I'm sitting here hoping that I can take off to get the procedure done and that I can afford it.
I am trying to fight off the darkness of seasonal depression and being alone for the holidays. I am trying to practice gratefulness and mindfulness and not curl in on myself, hiding from everyone, and avoiding talking to God. I know deep down I can lay it all on his throne, but it's hard seeing through the fog. More than ever, I feel like I need to get an official autism diagnosis since medication may be required, but I do not have the time to go through the process nor the 1500 it costs for the test.
I don't have any tears left; my spirit is low to the point others have noticed. I’m tired mentally, spiritually and physically. My house is a mess. I know God hasn’t brought me this far to leave me, but I am stumbling right now.
I pray for deliverance from my work situation and court. I also pray that I will be successful and have the energy to clean up my place the way I want in the next week and a half, which hopefully will help give me peace of mind and help me sleep. I have been talking to God throughout this entire process but I hope I can successfully leave it with him instead of each new update causing more and more anxiety.
Things that were never spoken to me were suddenly brought up, and when I tried to explain or remind myself that I followed the guidelines given, I seemed combative because the person's mind had already been made up. The way they worded things implied they spoke to others about me but never to me. The small, good feedback I received directly contradicted what I was told I needed to work on.
And I was spoken to like I was slow, asking multiple times if what was said was clear. I was told I need to plan my medical appointments like sick leave and emergencies are not a thing. Otherwise, it shows I am not committed to my role. After being unemployed for almost 2 years, a mere checkup uncovers things that need to be taken care of. I now have insurance but am nearly being penalized when I try to use it. It directly goes against all the policies of this company. I have only taken off because I had a migraine so bad I couldn’t function or because of emergency procedure after experiencing pain for two weeks.
I tried to call the company that originally owned my debt to prove my dispute, but they directed me back toward the company suing me. Who then told me the documents take time to process and I have to ask for verification of debt to get them. In turn, I'd have to fill out the form and turn it back into that department for them to investigate. And my court date is in a few weeks; with all that is going on, it's just more stress on top of stress. Everything feels tenuous, and I'm sitting here hoping that I can take off to get the procedure done and that I can afford it.
I am trying to fight off the darkness of seasonal depression and being alone for the holidays. I am trying to practice gratefulness and mindfulness and not curl in on myself, hiding from everyone, and avoiding talking to God. I know deep down I can lay it all on his throne, but it's hard seeing through the fog. More than ever, I feel like I need to get an official autism diagnosis since medication may be required, but I do not have the time to go through the process nor the 1500 it costs for the test.
I don't have any tears left; my spirit is low to the point others have noticed. I’m tired mentally, spiritually and physically. My house is a mess. I know God hasn’t brought me this far to leave me, but I am stumbling right now.
I pray for deliverance from my work situation and court. I also pray that I will be successful and have the energy to clean up my place the way I want in the next week and a half, which hopefully will help give me peace of mind and help me sleep. I have been talking to God throughout this entire process but I hope I can successfully leave it with him instead of each new update causing more and more anxiety.