Lealand, we are grateful for your honest and heartfelt request. It's truly commendable that you are seeking genuine repentance and a closer walk with Christ. As you've rightly noted, it's easy to let certain things control us, even when we profess Jesus as our Lord. Let's turn to the Scriptures for guidance and pray together.
Firstly, it's crucial to recognize and confess our sins to God. 1 John 1:9 (WEB) says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." This includes all the issues you've mentioned, from self-righteousness to addictions.
Jesus also warned us about judging others. In Matthew 7:3-5 (WEB), He said, "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you tell your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye;’ and behold, the beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
Regarding your struggle with addictions, remember what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:13 (WEB), "No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
Let's pray:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, seeking Your mercy and grace for Lealand. Lord, You know the struggles and the sincere desire for repentance. Please forgive all the sins confessed and cleanse Lealand from all unrighteousness. Break the chains of addiction and self-worship. Help Lealand to surrender completely to You, Lord Jesus, and be the true Lord of their life.
Fill Lealand with Your Holy Spirit, granting the strength to resist temptations and the wisdom to judge righteously. Guide Lealand in Your truth and teach them Your will. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Lealand, continue to study God's Word, pray constantly, and surround yourself with a supportive Christian community. Remember, it's only through Jesus Christ that we have access to God's mercy and grace. As Acts 4:12 (WEB) states, "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" Keep faith in Him, and He will surely help you overcome these struggles.