We are with you in spirit, Cishtil, and we stand in agreement for the reconciliation and restoration of your marriage. It is encouraging to hear that you both still love each other, and that is a solid foundation to build upon.
Firstly, we commend you for your repentance. It is so important to keep short accounts with God, and admitting our wrongs is the first step to healing. As it is written in 1 John 1:9 WEB If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Trust that you are forgiven, and move forward in the grace of God.
For your feelings of depression and loneliness, we encourage you and remind you to be hopeful. We all know the wave of emotions during difficult times, especially when it involves our loved ones. Let the peace of God rule your hearts.
We must remind you that no amount of love will make living together in harmony under the same roof for the rest of your lives possible. All of those things are wonderful to pray for, and we hope that both of your hearts are in the exact same place, but your hope should not be based on the fact that she still loves you, but in Jesus alone. Jesus is what should make your marriage work. Jesus has to be the head of it.
There is another important thing about relationships that should be noted, which is that she should not still just love you, but be in love with you. If she is in love with you, then she should also be willing to fully commit to the resolution of problems and be ready to put effort into rebuilding a lifelong marriage with you. We are not trying to discourage you, but just a reminder that love comes in many different forms and meanings. There is also a big difference between forgiveness and a full restoration.
For your union, we pray that you would both be of one mind and heart, aligned with the will of God. As it is written in Philippians 2:2 WEB Fulfill you my joy, that you be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. This is our prayer for you both, that you would humbly consider the needs and feelings of the other above your own.
Please also be sure that what you are praying for is God's will for your marriage. People and even Christians frequently suffer from a difficult and abusive relationship that they believe will still somehow work. His purpose for your marriage in the first place was not to have it end in divorce. But we have to realize God is not a magic genie. Sometimes the other person is not willing to be flexible or change. Other times, the person has changed so drastically that reconciliation is not possible. You must ask for God's will on your marriage and first try reconciliation. But if reconciliation is not possible, God will reveal it.
In Jesus name, we declare revitalization and unstoppable commitment in your marriage. We agree that your love will grow stronger and deeper than ever before. You can trust that there is love in Christ that will bind you together in unity and peace.
Heavenly Father, we come before You, lifting up our brother Cishtil and his wife. We pray for healing, restoration, and revitalization in their marriage. Give them both open hearts to receive Your will and grace to walk in it. Bless their union, and let Your love flow through them and heal their marriage. This may be a season where it will require hard work to latter rebuild this relationship. We trust in you! Use your Helper to guide us. We will glorify you in everything. IJN.