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Disciple of Prayer
I want God's will in my life and I want to surrender a guy I care about to the Lord and let go of my expectations/a specific outcome.
I met P in January; we met up at a 2 day Christian concert and things went well - we really hit it off personality wise. Held hands and talked all day both days. We're about 7 hours apart, but we talked on the phone for hours, texted every day, and were making plans to see each other again. We both have the same quirky sense of humor (which I haven't found in any other guy I've talked to), love scuba diving, want to become missionaries, enjoy exercise, the same movies, going on adventures, love the Word of God, and were attracted to each other. I haven't ever dated someone that had the same hobbies as me. I love his voice and hearing from him. In April, He started to pull away, I think due to trauma in previous relationships, but I truly don't know. If I can describe it best, it would be avoidant attachment. It's like the closer we became, the more scared he got. I also am scared, as I was in an 8 year abusive relationship that ended 4 years ago. I didn't want to trust him in case he hurt me. In any case, it's been 2 months since we last spoke. It's really on him at this point to reach out and make things right/pursue me (too many details to put in here, but I promise I did my best to reach out to him). He sort of just... shut down. He told me there wasn't anyone else he was talking to.
I am working on surrendering P to the Lord, because there is nothing I can do to "get" him back. It has to be God working through him to bring him back into my life. I miss him terribly. The more tightly I hold on, the more upset I get that we aren't talking. I don't want to lose P forever. I am asking for prayers for wisdom, discernment, and for P's heart to be open to reaching out to me and meeting up. I don't want fear/the enemy to get in the way of something wonderful. It had just begun. I don't know if I believe in "the One" or "soulmates", but he really does mean a lot to me. He mattered. What we had mattered. I don't want to let go of the hope that one day God could reunite us. I am standing on the Word of God , that whatever I ask for in prayer (in alignment with God's will), I will receive.
My inability to let go and hold onto him has caused a significant amount of anxiety in my life and I don't want to be full of fear. God hasn't given me the spirit of fear. It's just that I haven't found someone like him before and I am afraid I won't ever find someone like him again. I would like God to bring him back into my life so we can restore what was lost. I want to see him again. I don't want it to be over.
I will be OK eventually if God tells me he isn't supposed to be in my life, but God hasn't told me it's over yet. I wait on Him, and until then, I am asking for prayers to please work in my life. I know God loves me and wants the best for me, and I'm not in a "rush" to be with someone.
I met P in January; we met up at a 2 day Christian concert and things went well - we really hit it off personality wise. Held hands and talked all day both days. We're about 7 hours apart, but we talked on the phone for hours, texted every day, and were making plans to see each other again. We both have the same quirky sense of humor (which I haven't found in any other guy I've talked to), love scuba diving, want to become missionaries, enjoy exercise, the same movies, going on adventures, love the Word of God, and were attracted to each other. I haven't ever dated someone that had the same hobbies as me. I love his voice and hearing from him. In April, He started to pull away, I think due to trauma in previous relationships, but I truly don't know. If I can describe it best, it would be avoidant attachment. It's like the closer we became, the more scared he got. I also am scared, as I was in an 8 year abusive relationship that ended 4 years ago. I didn't want to trust him in case he hurt me. In any case, it's been 2 months since we last spoke. It's really on him at this point to reach out and make things right/pursue me (too many details to put in here, but I promise I did my best to reach out to him). He sort of just... shut down. He told me there wasn't anyone else he was talking to.
I am working on surrendering P to the Lord, because there is nothing I can do to "get" him back. It has to be God working through him to bring him back into my life. I miss him terribly. The more tightly I hold on, the more upset I get that we aren't talking. I don't want to lose P forever. I am asking for prayers for wisdom, discernment, and for P's heart to be open to reaching out to me and meeting up. I don't want fear/the enemy to get in the way of something wonderful. It had just begun. I don't know if I believe in "the One" or "soulmates", but he really does mean a lot to me. He mattered. What we had mattered. I don't want to let go of the hope that one day God could reunite us. I am standing on the Word of God , that whatever I ask for in prayer (in alignment with God's will), I will receive.
My inability to let go and hold onto him has caused a significant amount of anxiety in my life and I don't want to be full of fear. God hasn't given me the spirit of fear. It's just that I haven't found someone like him before and I am afraid I won't ever find someone like him again. I would like God to bring him back into my life so we can restore what was lost. I want to see him again. I don't want it to be over.
I will be OK eventually if God tells me he isn't supposed to be in my life, but God hasn't told me it's over yet. I wait on Him, and until then, I am asking for prayers to please work in my life. I know God loves me and wants the best for me, and I'm not in a "rush" to be with someone.