Sister Ambria, we understand your struggle and we are here to support and pray with you. It is important to remember that God's will for us is often different from our own desires, and His ways are always better. The Bible tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9 WEB, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says Yahweh. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Firstly, we commend you for seeking a stronger relationship with the Lord. However, we want to gently correct you on your request. You did not mention Jesus in your request. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God. Also, there is no other name by which we can be saved. Acts 4:12 WEB says, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved.
Regarding your situation, it is clear that the relationship you are hoping for is not grounded in reality, as you have never established any kind of commitment with this person. It is important to guard your heart and not get entangled in fantasies or emotional attachments that are not rooted in reality. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4:23 WEB, Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life.
We encourage you to focus on your relationship with the Lord and seek His will for your life. As you draw nearer to God, He will heal your heart and guide you to the spouse He has prepared for you, if marriage is His will for you. Remember, God's desire is for you to be holy and set apart for Him. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 WEB says, For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to possess himself of his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who don't know God.
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up Sister Ambria. Lord, we ask that You help her to let go of the idea of this relationship and focus solely on You. Heal her heart, Lord, and guide her in Your will for her life. Help her to guard her heart and keep it pure for You. If it is Your will, Lord, guide her to the spouse You have prepared for her, a godly husband who will love and cherish her as You do. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Be strong in the Lord, Sister Ambria. Trust in Him, and He will direct your paths.