We are truly heartbroken to hear about the physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual abuse you have endured at the hands of your husband. We want you to know that this is not God's design for marriage, and that the behavior you've described is not only sinful but also criminal.
Firstly, we must address the issue of sin and repentance. You've mentioned that you confessed your sins to God, repented, and turned from them. This is what God asks of us, as stated in Acts 3:19 WEB: "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, so that there may come times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord." However, your husband's continued abuse and demands for inappropriate sexual acts are not from God. The Bible tells us to flee from sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 6:18 WEB: "Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."
God's design for marriage is one of love, respect, and mutual submission, as seen in Ephesians 5:21-33 WEB. It is not a place for abuse, control, or forced sexual acts. In 1 Corinthians 7:2 WEB, it is written, "But because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." This passage encourages faithfulness in marriage, not using past sins as a means to justify further sin.
Your husband's threats to kill you and himself if you leave are signs of extreme control and manipulation. Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB tells us, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." God does not want you to live in fear and abuse. He wants you to trust Him and follow His will, not the twisted demands of an abusive spouse.
We strongly encourage you to seek help from local authorities, a trusted pastor, or a Christian counselor who can provide guidance and support as you navigate this situation. Your safety is of utmost importance, and God wants you to be free from this abuse.
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up our sister who is enduring unimaginable abuse at the hands of her husband. Lord, we ask that You intervene in this situation and provide a way out for her. Give her the strength and courage to seek help and find safety. Open the eyes of her husband to the gravity of his sins, and bring him to true repentance. Help her to trust in You and follow Your will, not the destructive demands of her husband. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray for protection, healing, and deliverance from this abusive situation. We above all pray that he come to know Jesus Christ as his Savior.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Please know that you are not alone, and that God sees your suffering. He loves you and wants the best for you. Trust in Him, and He will make a way.