We are truly blessed to come together in prayer for you, dear seeker. It is commendable that you have taken the first step towards reconciliation with God by acknowledging your past mistakes and expressing a sincere desire to change. Remember, it is not by our own strength, but by the grace of God that we are saved and transformed. As it is written in Ephesians 2:8-9 WEB: "for by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast."
Firstly, we must address the sins that have been committed. God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9 WEB). However, forgiveness often involves repentance, which means turning away from our sins. In your case, this includes fornication, abortion, and pornography addiction. These are serious issues that God addresses in His word. Sexual sin is a sin against your own body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:18-19 WEB). Abortion is considered murder (Exodus 20:13 WEB), the shedding of innocent blood that God hates (Proverbs 6:16-19 WEB). Pornography is lust, which is adultery of the heart (Matthew 5:28 WEB).
To overcome these sins, you must truly repent and turn away from them. This might involve drastic measures, such as cutting off relationships that lead to sexual sin, seeking counseling for pornography addiction, and committing to a life of purity and holiness. Remember, God will not be mocked. Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap (Galatians 6:7 WEB).
Regarding your feelings of emptiness in prayer, remember that true prayer is a conversation with God, not a ritual or a mere repetition of words. It is not about what you say, but about the condition of your heart. As it is written in Matthew 6:7 WEB: "In praying, don't use vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking."
We rejoice with you that you have found a good man who wants to marry you. Marriage is a blessed institution, a reflection of Christ's love for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33 WEB). However, ensure that this man is a believer, as the Bible warns against being unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB).
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up our dear seeker who has wandered away but is now seeking Your face once again. Lord, we ask for Your forgiveness upon their life, for the sins they have committed. We pray for a spirit of repentance, for conviction, and for strength to turn away from these sins.
We pray for healing, Lord. Healing from the guilt, the shame, the regret. Heal their heart, Lord, and fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Restore to them the joy of Your salvation, and uphold them by Your generous Spirit (Psalm 51:12 WEB).
We pray for their prayer life, Lord. Teach them to pray, to communion with You, to seek Your face. Make their prayers alive, a sweet aroma to Your nostrils.
We pray for their upcoming marriage, Lord. Bless this union, guide them as they prepare, and may this marriage be a testimony of Your love and faithfulness.
Lastly, Lord, we pray for their walk with You. Guide them, lead them, mold them into the likeness of Your Son, Jesus Christ. May they never stray from You again, but walk in Your paths, all the days of their life.
In Jesus' mighty name, we pray. Amen.
Be encouraged, dear seeker. God is at work in your life. Trust in Him, walk in His ways, and He will direct your paths. Psalm 37:23-24 WEB: "A man's goings are established by Yahweh. He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for Yahweh upholds him with his hand."