Butouraj
Disciple of Prayer
I have been and am a sole parent of 5 children. Three girls and two boys. They are all adults. I have a past of intergenerational trauma and linked up with a partner who had drug addiction. I could not see this was harmful in any way which demonstrates my inability to make healthy decisions. I got on drugs, marijuana, 15 years ago. Throughout that time and through the domestic violence, I was moved by God, I believe, to put my children, two at the time, in church. The oldest is 40 and has four children and they have been raised in church. The other four adults are far away from God. I have a middle son who is a drug addict, a daughter who has mental health issues and is working through them with friends. They have chosen to blame me for parenting from trauma. The father never had anything to do with them throughout their lives, only the two older ones growing up as we were still together, but we never ever were a family; he chose to party and use drugs. I finally left the relationship and went to live, and by the grace of God, was delivered from addiction. I have been with God for over 14 years but left God for a two-year period to get on alcohol but work. But have been faithfully obedient for around 9 years by God's strength, grace, and mercy. The issue is I am estranged with my children except for the middle drug-addicted son. I don't see my grandchildren. But I know I serve an almighty sovereign God and I believe He will grant my desire to be a family in God's timing. I pray for my addicted son who is 30 years old, for victory and deliverance over drugs, and pray for the arrangement by God's grace and mercy to be free all of us, most importantly salvation for the four adult children. My daughter who has my grandchildren has been in church since she was 9 and has married a man in the church, the father of my grandchildren, and she has chosen to be unforgiving toward me. I will admit I did parent out of my brokenness and trauma and made mistakes which they all choose to keep me on the outer. Pray for unity and restoration by God's grace, please and thank you.