Hewraw
Disciple of Prayer
We began trying to conceive in my early thirties and after two years and taking a break to care for my mother through her stage 4 cancer diagnosis, grieving her passing but thanking God the process was peaceful and everyone had closure we concieved last year in September. We prayed that God would line things up for us to be in a more affordable home and financially set us up to care for a child. He did just that. The day before our move to this home we so fervently prayed for that would put us in a better place to care for a child if it was His will I found out I was pregnant and then on the one year anniversary of my mom's passing right after our move I found out I had an early miscarriage. I was absolutely crushed as it felt I had followed all of God's instructions and he had allowed everything to fall in place, just so. The last year has been tumultuous for me and I even had a period of time that I questioned my entire belief system. I've been working on my relationship with God and it seems he has lined up yet another opportunity for us to conceive a child this month. On one hand, I have accepted His will in my life and know His plans for us our greater than I can imagine and yet, the human side of me is worried that I will do as I did last time, feeling I'm following His instructions and will turn around and be let down that my discernment was not correct as last time I could not understand why He would give and take away. So I just ask you to pray over our discernment in this process and that if this is not His plan for us that he fill that hole and desire for a child with love and understanding of His plan for us. And that if it is and He blesses us with a child this month, that He protect this child and myself and allow me to be blessed with an easy, happy and healthy pregnancy
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