Hilasmeira
Humble Servant of All
There is something very strange that I have been noticing. I have been on the receiving end of a lot of spiritual attacks for the past few months. A lot of this was largely my fault due to the fact that I had experimented with witchcraft and the occult in the past. I opened up a lot of very dangerous doors during this time. I have since given my life back to Jesus and I have been delivered from most or all of the attacks that I was experiencing. However, there is one thing that remains constant. I have been sensing that there is still something not completely right with my heart spiritually. Some days, I will feel fine and I will sense that my relationship with God is growing. On the bad days, I start to sense that there is some sort of numb feelng creeping over my heart. It is as if I cannot actually perceive that my faith is real. It is as if there is something spiritually hindering me from fully accepting the gospel of Jesus Christ within my heart. When this happens, I start to experience these very intense and explicit spiritual attacks that are usually manifested in the people around me. Everything will be fine and then I start to perceive that that hindrance is overtaking my heart and then it's as if a switch goes off - everything around me goes haywire. I notice that when I feel fine and my heart is open to the gospel, I don't experience this. But once that sensation comes, it's as if I'm a completely different person. I do not have a regular church home, although I am seeking one out. I do not have a lot of background knowledge about conducting spiritual warfare. My only hope is to ask other Christian people to pray for me and to seek God on my own. Please pray that there will be an end to this battle. I've been fighting it for only a few months but it has gone on so long and so intensely that I don't remember how to live normally anymore. The things that I have experienced have caused me to become extremely paranoid and fearful because I never know when another attack might come up. Please pray for me.