Gwathnor
Disciple of Prayer
First I want to just thank God for bringing me this far. People are dying daily with sickness or accidents and it's a blessing to be able to live to see another day in Christ Jesus. My prayers are for strength to carry on to have faith that there is more to my life than my beginnings. I find myself straying away from God because of my emotional conflict. I was on fire for God until my father, who I never saw because he abandoned me physically, emotionally, and financially. This time I felt like I was really on track, but this threw me off track because he sends me verses and then wants to tell me sometimes people have to go through hard things. I find it hard talking to God and being intimate because since then I have felt depressed. I know God has given me strength, but sometimes it's hard knowing he is a Christian and still wants to pretend like he did not abandon me. I have forgiven, but it's hard to not feel depressed. I want to feel close to God again because he is the only father I need; he loves me unconditionally. Lord, may I never lose sight of your goodness. Please just keep me in your prayers. I even need a different environment; they make me more depressed because my housemate blasts provocative music, has loud sex, and even last night was listening to porn. I'm crying out for just some change in my life; I'm tired of being the one that has to be strong, has to take the high road, has to keep the peace even when being treated badly. Lord, please help me; I need you. I'm broken-hearted, but I'm trying.