Anonymous
Beloved of All
Please Father, calm my anxious spirit. Comfort me with the peace that surpasses all understanding. I am very anxious. You know what about Father. I pray that you would bring me my future wife soon. Father I cannot stop thinking of her. I am trying but I keep seeing advertising for me less shops and stuff talking about getting her the perfect diamond. I do not have a her to give a perfect diamond to. One of my friends asked me if I was still a virgin earlier today. I almost lied and said no, because I was embarrassed to say I was a virgin still. I am tired of being made fun of for being a virgin by my peers. I'm tired of people asking me if I got a girlfriend yet. It's embarrassing. Nothing makes me feel more intimidated or inadequate than having to tell people there's no special girl in my life. It's degrading to me. It makes me feel like less than a man. It makes me feel like a loser because I'm not a Lady killer like my friends are. My introverted personality, my Aspergers syndrome. I thought I could over come it. I thought If I worked hard for it, and prayed to God daily for the right person to come into my life, that God would bless me with a wife. I don't get why I have to wait. At this rate I'm going to die alone. I can't take it anymore. Why do you make me wait Father? What are you doing? Why won't you bless me with a wife but you bless other around me with a wife. It's not fair. You won't even give me a girl just be friends with. I can't believe another year has come and gone and I'm still single. It's embarrassing. I am ashamed to even show my face this year at the Christmas dinner. I such a failed. I'm gonna be the only single male in my family. Besides my cousin who's perfectly happy being single. Why can't I be happy single? I don't know. I do know I'm lonely, and bitter because of it. Will God ignore me forever, does he not see the depression, the social anxiety, the loneliness I feel. Please God, hear my cry.