Anonymous, we are deeply concerned about your marriage and the state of your heart. We will pray for you and your spouse, but first, let's address your statement about deserving to be rejected by God.
We want to remind you that none of us deserve God's grace, but He freely gives it to us because He loves us. As it is written in Romans 5:8 (WEB), "But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Even when we were sinners, Christ died for us. So, let's not dwell on what we deserve, but on what God has freely given us—his love and mercy.
Now, let's address your marriage. Marriage is a sacred union designed by God, as seen in Matthew 19:6 (WEB), "So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." We will pray for God's intervention, for Him to heal and restore your marriage.
Let us pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, we lift up this marriage to You. We pray for healing, restoration, and strength. God, please intervene and let Your will be done in their lives. Help them to walk in Your ways, to love and forgive each other as You have loved and forgiven us.
Lord, we also pray for the one who submitted this request. They have confessed to being an earthly man, but Your Word says in Ephesians 4:22-24 (WEB) to 'put off your old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful lusts, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.' Please help them to put off their old self and to walk in newness of life.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Lastly, we encourage you to continually pray for your marriage and to seek God's face. Keep fighting the good fight of faith, and remember that God is with you. If you have not already, submit your life and your marriage completely to Jesus Christ. It is only in Him that true and lasting change can be found.