Dwiever
Disciple of Prayer
It has been about ### months since we completely cut contact because he realized he doesn’t feel the same about me anymore. There have been some challenges in both of our lives, but we rarely had any problems with each other. Long story short, I have lost everything in the last ### years. I lost a PhD position which was also my job, lost my mother to cancer, my sister was diagnosed with cancer in less than a year, and got out of a ### years relationship almost ### years ago. And then suddenly one year ago, this guy came into my life in the most unexpected way. I didn’t want to have a relationship with him and talked to be just friends, but the connection and chemistry between us from the first moment we met, it felt like we knew each other for ### years, and even weirdly he asked me to go with him to his hometown only ### days after we met as he was supposed to go there for work. The connection was so intense that we didn’t even need to talk to each other when we were together. He was there for me in my worst darkest moments although he knew me for less than a month and didn’t let go even when I pushed him away. But then some things happened in his life as well, and he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted anymore! And he just decided that he can’t see a relationship with me even though he fell in love with me. And eventually in December he told me that he doesn’t feel the same about me anymore. And he even started seeing someone else! Meanwhile, I also found an apartment about ### meters from his in a very unexpected way and moved in in ###! And now I am left alone, heartbroken, and feel like I can not stand up again! It feels like God planned everything just to torture me! I can not believe that there is a God who sees all this and doesn’t even look at me!! I had enough in my life already, and I asked God to not put me down one more time! I thanked him for bringing him into my life and told him that I can not stand up once again after everything if he takes him away! I asked God… and thanked God… and in the end, I was left in the most painful way when we both eventually had the possibility to try a relationship! And now I am barely alive! I breathe but I don’t live! I have nothing else…! Now every day I ask God either for a miracle to bring him back or to let me die because I can’t live with this much pain anymore! Nothing helps! No prayers! Nothing…. And I feel pain with every single cell in my body!! So today I am asking you to pray for me, maybe God sees me finally! I ask you to pray for me for God to spare me this last one, spare me my heart and bring him back, and don’t let my soul die! It is the last thread I am hanging to… and I will just be a shell after this… . Please pray for me… Thank you for reading and your prayers..