Let us remind ourselves of the words in Isaiah 55:8-9, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says Yahweh. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
We understand that you are going through a trial of powerlessness and that goes against your expectations. The Bible tells us For we are not fighting against flesh and blood, not against physical enemies but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Eph 6:12) It is possible that something may be happening spiritually that you cannot see. However, we are instructed by Peter to cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you so both your sin, and your suffering is avenues through which you can approach God. Sometimes you will suffer even when you trust Christ, and it is critical that you complain to God rather than about him. See Habakkuk 1:2-4 and 2:4
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for Yahweh your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Mighty God, we come before you, lifting up this dear soul in prayer. We pray that you will forgive his complaints and sinful thoughts, knowing that even in his despair, you are faithful. We ask that you will turn his complaints to prayers calling out to you. Help him to see that your ways and thoughts are higher than ours. Give him patience and strength to face this turmoil and truth of the word to fight spiritual battles. Please remind him of the promise that You will never leave him nor forsake him, and You can use the trials to remind him of this truth.
It is important to note that you did not mention Jesus Christ in the content of your message. This is concerning because it is only through the name of Jesus that we have access to God. It is through acceptance of his perfect sacrifice that we can have eternal life, the greatest gift of love that is as short or long as eternity. It is also a sin of the mouth and complaining about God, and if his words are this sinful, his thoughts must be sinful as well. Therefore we implore you, be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."(2Cor 5:20,21) by confessing your sin to Jesus, repenting of it, and then accepting the sacrifice of Jesus Christ as a substitution for your own life.
Lastly, we must rebuke the statement that you did not ask God for this life. In this case the life that you did not ask for was given by His grace for his glory. Therefore,
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; Do not be defeated or controlled by any sin. for you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. (1Cor 6:19 to 20, 12:27,Romans 6,7)